Inhale Acceptance Exhale Caddyness

Can we all practice the art of inhaling acceptance and exhaling caddyness? I read somewhere that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, and I’m positive it’s the same rule for being negative and choosing to be happy.

I’m guilty of gossiping and being caddy. Sometimes I even feel obligated to contribute to the office gossiping to “fit in,” which is nobody’s problem but my own. What I’m hoping to convey is my own flaw, how it makes me crazy, why I don’t want to do it anymore and how I’m going to move forward.


It feels like the older I get, the more I notice it. Caddyness is displayed on magazine articles, social media news feeds and is circulated in office cliques. For example, the most recent article I scrolled past by HuffPost was titled, Angelina Jolie Shades Jennifer Aniston During Speech.

Why do pitting two females against one another generate clicks? Ps: the image they use as reference is a millisecond of an instance. I’m sure the second image on that camera was both of them paying attention to each other, but no one will ever ask that question because the first assumption is more exciting.

For the record I’m not even a fan of Angelina Jolie and it still bothers me because of the principle that this is a normal caddyness expected.

We’re all guilty of participating in the age old saying, get it off your chest you’ll feel better mentality, but not all thoughts need to be expressed. There’s another age old saying about misery loves company, and it shouldn’t fall on deaf ears when being paired with the notion negative energy manifests more negative energy.

This is especially toxic when done in a working environment. I’ve worked in retail, the restaurant industry and office life – no job title is safe from the drama or caddyness. Try to remember (especially if you’re in close quarters) not everyone enjoys listening to you complain about how everyone else should be living their lives and how many lingering ears can overhear you?

                *Also, can we stop using the word should? Because who are you to tell anyone how they should be doing something? Nobody wants to constantly hear how someone should be living their life, because guess what? You’re fucking up the same amount of times as everyone else – you’re no different, so who are you to judge or tell anyone anything. If you ain’t Oprah, I don’t want to hear it – actually, sorry Oprah, I still don’t want to hear it …

I think it’s safe to say, if you feel entitled in giving advice to every living soul about how they should be living, you might want to turn that voice inward and figure out why you feel obligated to tell others how to live. I have a book for you to read that might help, too.

Bottom line: a real queen helps another queen adjust her crown. It’s hard enough to be a woman and there’s no need to waste any of our personal time tearing down one another.


I’m making a conscious effort to pause when I start to use the word should and another hard effort to not feel obligated to participate in harmful gossip.

We’re all on this ridiculous ride called life and we’re all doing the best we can. No job title is safe from the drama or caddyness, but maybe we can be the variable that causes a ripple effect.



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Shannon Randol

Sharing life and what's helped me grow through what I've gone through.

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