I’m trying to practice the art of not giving a fuck, but it’s hard. There’s also this thing called “not taking on other’s emotions and feeling responsible for them,” mentality I’m trying to conquer, but letting slip by the waist-side.
Ever since getting a job in my field of study and outside of the retail and restaurant industry, there’s this false sense of success I fight from those looking in from the outside and their opinions bother the shit out of me.
So I’d like to address a few of the statements that have chapped my ass in hopes it’ll put them to rest.
Just because I don’t work the weekend grind anymore doesn’t mean I’m a part of some elite club you’re not invited to. Just because I have paid holidays doesn’t mean I haven’t previously paid my dues. Just because it looks like “I’ve got it all” now, doesn’t mean I do.
It took me damn near a decade of hustle and grind to get me at this very spot, and that chip on my shoulder wants to ask you, “have you worked that hard to achieve your future dreams?” If the answer is no then quit your bitching.
Speaking of comparing, stop paring my situation to your own. This isn’t a contest and I’m not participating in your race. Our paths can’t be any more different and it’s a shame when I express that sentiment you can’t hear it because you’re too busy thinking of a comeback.
I think I finally understand where JLo was coming from all those years ago when she was singing about Jenny from the block.
Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I’ve got, I’m still Jenny from the block. I used to have a little now I have a lot. I’ll never forget where I came from …
After Jenny from the Block made its way through the radio is when I started to stop respecting JLo. I didn’t want to hear about her “block days” when her damn bank account said differently.
Now I get it…
You work hard to get out of a situation and then you’re no longer a part of that rise and grind club. You made it, so now everything you went through before breaking through doesn’t count because you made it to the other side.
Even though my bank account isn’t rolling in the dough like JLo’s, I get it.
I live in California and work at a job that others see as glamorous because it’s not waiting tables. But guess what? I didn’t do anything you couldn’t do for yourself. The difference between you and me is that I got up every time I fell down, and the voices telling me I wouldn’t finish fueled me past the finish line.
Just because I don’t settle for anything less than what I want doesn’t mean I didn’t have struggles. You don’t know, it’s easy to see it now and think otherwise but where were you when It was tough? Nowhere.
It’s difficult for me to brush off the comments about “how good I have it,” or “how lucky I am,” because it wasn’t always good (it’s not always good now) and luck had nothing to do with it. I put myself into uncomfortable situations so I’d benefit years down the road. I know this is what chips on shoulders are made of…
My Mom used to tell me not to take shit so personally, and while easier said than done, I think it’s important to remember because you have to be strong at keeping your own mental boundary.
If I let in all opinions and naysayers seep into my (for lack of a better word) inner thought pool (think I just made that very scientific word up), those thoughts mix with my own and poison the water if I’m not careful about separating mine and their own.
Because at the end of the day if that’s what they want to believe, so be it. I know the truth.