“Something wonderful is sheltered inside you. I say this with confidence, because I happen to believe we are all walking repositories of buried treasure. The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.” Big Magic
What hidden gem is buried within you? Tell me in the comments!
This would’ve been a tougher question to ask me a year or three ago because it didn’t seem possible anything gem-like could be buried within a person like me.
My childhood home was chaotic. A lot of yelling and fighting between kids (and parents) of all ages. Somehow it ended up being my job to manage the house of angry emotions and be the adult.
No matter how hard I tried to please in all aspects, it wasn’t good enough. I still got knocked around or screamed at. So how could something beautiful and gem-like be buried inside me when my own family didn’t love me for me?
I’m telling’ you, therapy has done me WONDERS. It has helped me with my anger, people skills, and managing my own emotions since I was never taught how to respond and only to react (with rage and anger).
One bonus of growing up in an explosive home is I can read a room like no other. I notice patterns and behavior ticks in workspaces, friend spaces, AND family spaces.
Anyways, I think I’m starting to ramble…in the last year I have been concentrating on shifting my focus inward and loving myself for who I am and not who I can be for others.
It’s been amazing.
After listening to Shetty’s 3 Myths About Finding Purpose and blogging about my aha moments (you can read them here, to see if you have your own aha moment) I read the quote heading this blog post and had one more holy shit, yes! moment.
So, what gem is hidden inside of me?
A strong ability to meet people where they’re at and emphasize with them as a person, their situation, or behavior.
I have walked a lot of life for someone who has hardly turned thirty. And because I am someone who needs proof in order to trust, I’ll share bits of what I’ve walked through in order to gain your trust.
My childhood home wasn’t just chaotic, it was abusive; both physically, mentally and emotionally. I’m still getting used to seeing those words typed out, even after a year of therapy it’s still hard to accept.
Money was always tight, I remember this being a daily conversation as a child but my favorite memories were when we lived at a trailer park in LeRoy, New York.
I’ve lived in five different states and 15 homes (that I can remember), so I’m part pro in being the new girl.
Unfortunately, because my home was abusive, I grew accustomed to running towards danger instead of away from it. Some of the friends I had in my late teens could’ve gotten me killed, a few times.
After I met my husband, we lived the military life for 6 years. This included a move and two deployments after he got out of training. When he transitioned out of the military it was another type of Hell we weren’t prepared for at the ripe age of twenty-five.
Annnnnnd I think I’ll stop there, you get the picture. I’ve experienced a lot, and while some moments were the absolute worst, others weren’t so bad.
I’m old enough to understand it has shaped me into the person I am today (which I’m proud of) because it’s made be capable of relating to a lot of different people.
My life belt feels full, but I’m looking forward to seeing what else life has in store for me.
So, what hidden gem is buried within you?
RamblinRandol is my journey back to loving myself (which happens to include baking). It’s an open letter on how I’m growing through what I’ve been through. And like Maya Angelou said, “the ache for home lives in all of us…” It’s time for me to feel at home in my own skin.
Click here to be my digital penpal and receive an email from mwah twice a month or hang out with me on Instagram @sjrandol.