Give yourself permission to grieve the loss you feel. You don't need permission from anyone (besides yourself) to grieve. Do you look for permission to feel sadness? Maybe you don't even know you're doing it. I didn't, until this past Friday.
I'm guilty of gossiping and being caddy. Sometimes I even feel obligated to contribute to the office gossiping to "fit in," which is nobody's problem but my own. What I’m hoping to convey is my own flaw, how it makes me crazy, why I don’t want to do it anymore and how I’m going to move forward.