Melissa McCarthy’s Bridesmaids Monologue Is The Reminder We All Need

Melissa McCarthy’s pep talk monologue with Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids was what I needed to both see and hear. 

Before I taint the pool with my aha moments, watch the clip or read the transcript below and take note of what stands out to you. Did you need reminding of something, too?

Continue reading Melissa McCarthy’s Bridesmaids Monologue Is The Reminder We All Need

The Brave & Brokenhearted Manifesto

Have you read Brene Brown’s Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted? It’s a story I go back to each time I feel like dipping out when the going gets too tough.

Paragraphs three, four and five are my favorite to re-read over and over when I need the reminder.

And it goes like this:

There is no greater threat to the critic and cynics and fearmongers than those of us who are willing to fall because we have learned how to rise. 

With skinned knees and bruised hearts; we choose owning our stories of struggle, over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.

When we deny our stories, they define us. When we run from struggle, we are never free. So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye.

We will not be characters in our stories. Not villains, not victims, not even heroes. 

We are the authors of our lives. We write our own endings. 

We craft love from heartbreak, compassion from shame, grace from disappointment, courage from failure. 

Showing up is our power. Story is our way home. Truth is our song. We are the brave and brokenhearted. We are rising strong.

I won’t let my past dictate my future. I get to write my own ending. I’m not one to play the victim but I can work on not feeling like the villain.

Side rant: it drives me batty when people are hell-bent on playing the victim, turning every injustice into a personal attack on their own day.

Will you look in the mirror and ask yourself the hard questions? Will you look your truth in the eye and not run from it? What would happen if you stopped running and started to tackle it?

Hold yourself accountable. Save yourself. It’s only ever up to you to make a difference in your own world. Ask a question. Seek understanding before you judge.

Tackling my own demons has been my biggest struggle these past two years, and yet, the most rewarding.

Stay hungry for the growth my friends.

 

 

I’m Drowning In Other People’s Opinions

I am drowning, drowning, drowning in other people’s opinions on how I should be living my life and never realized how much I was holding on to other’s opinions or how it was affecting me until recently, like two days ago.

It all started with a podcast episode “How To Find Your Calling” by Rachel Hollis. The first ripple in my pond happened when she mentions her struggle with having a lot of anxiety and how it stemmed from trying to please everyone around her.

Everytime I hear someone struggling with anxiety issues I ask, who are you trying to please? – Rachel Hollis

Trying to live for others while being yourself IS like trying to live a double life. There are so many opinions flying around about how women should act, feel, or do in life, that it’s hard to differentiate between your own thoughts and those that’ve been learned.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told I need to let my Hubs feel like he’s the man in the house and that me being a strong woman will squash his manhood. So I tried for a  to not be so “strong-willed” and it did nothing but make me resent him, even though he wasn’t the one who even said it, the first, second or third time!

He married me, he knows who I am. If he didn’t like an independent woman then he wouldn’t have married one. But I beat myself up for a bit for not being that dainty submissive lady books are written about, who gets saved and everyone protects.

If I could go back I would simply nod and smile, make no comment and not let that idea (because that’s all it is) be stuck to me. Deep down I’m proud of who I am and only I know my relationship with my husband, why would I let someone outside of it influence it? Plus, he’s only ever complimented me for my strength and independent traits.

These opinions aren’t just reserved for marriage. I feel it professionally. I recently was told, “I think you like to try new things but then get bored.”

I’ve been struggling about what I want to be doing in life and have been trying out new ways to make a difference both on and off social media, so this felt like a jab to my abilities to perform and accomplish tasks.

What I took home that night was, you’re a professional floozy, and then yes you guessed it, beat myself up about it for a while because look, look at all these women who are writing books and killing it on social who are making a difference in their follower’s lives. All I’ve done is make a 7 episode podcast I’m not sure I can continue because finding people who were homeless and want to share their story is tough, and I don’t think I want to change my topic.

Letting it consume me and beat me up is again, on me. I have control over my actions and reactions. One of my favorite lines my friend repeats to me is, “you can’t control how people act or how they react to you, you’re not responsible for their emotions or behaviors. You can only control how you act and react.” 

My small ripple quadrupled after Rachel then mentioned how hard it was for her to step down as CEO and hire her husband for the position because she felt a certain pull to be THAT woman who ran her own company and be that example for other young women, until…

Her friend asked her if she actually liked doing any of the roles required under the CEO like budgeting, scheduling, etc. Her answer was no, she’d rather write and create content because that what makes her happy. So now she’s the Creative Cheif instead.

DING DING DING.

Why am I fighting my want to write and be creative? Why don’t I just do it and stop distracting myself with all the other things? Every year I tell myself I’m going to start my word count. Every month I tell myself I want to build my own business, freelance, build my following and grow an email list but have no real plan on how to do it, so I end up getting frazzled and reminding myself that old saying I heard so many years ago about “nobody makes a living by writing” or my favorite “you’re not THAT kind of creative.”

So I drown my wants to write the stuff I want to write and create the content I want to create because of comments from others, how ridiculous, I mean really!

I’ve completely forgotten about the fun part and ps: I already DO make a living out of creating content. I do all the writing for Marconi Automotive Museum, hello!

Basically, if you’re struggling with anxiety…who are you trying to please? Are you living for yourself, or trying to make everyone else around you happy?

Me trying to please everyone and live up to their expectations based off conversations they probably didn’t mean to have such a deep effect on me is true madness. Yeah? Man, I hope someone resonated with this, otherwise, I am crazypants.

Everything you have ever wanted, is sitting on the other side of fear. (2)

Ps: there’s a part two to this story. The real big mic drop came after Rachel begun to speak about this one moment from attending a Tony Robbins growth conference where he asks which parent did you crave love from the most, and who did you have to be in order to get that person’s attention? I’ll catch you guys next week…

Come be my friend on Instagram. I’m hilarious.