There’s something special about being married and by special I mean hilarious. After a certain amount of time has passed you begin to get into the deep minutia of life and crazy metaphors, conversations, and ridiculousness get exchanged.
And I’m going to turn mine into a bi-weekly cartoon sitcom. Well, cartoon may be generous but I can’t say graphic sitcom because that implies a whole other situation.
Every other Friday keep a look out for the Sh*t My Husband Says. Hope you enjoy him as much as I do.
I’m on book 3 of the #ReadWithRD for 2018 and it’s Rupi Kaur’s The Sun and Her Flowers book of poems. Reading poetry hasn’t been my thing, the last time I read anything that rhymed it was underneath the title, Where The Sidewalk Ends.
Why wasn’t I ever interested in poetry before?
Maybe I strayed away because the word seemed too feminine and had over the top emotions, corny jazz music and far out artists weaved beneath its definition. And there was no way I’d fit in there…
So imagine my surprise when I began to enjoy it, which then lead to an embarrassing amount of Google searches to gain some perspective and history on the art of poetry.
My searches led me to Blogging University’s Intro to Poetry course and on a whim, I signed up. Its follow-up email sealed the deal by stating, “Sometimes we need a little nudge to get in touch with our creative side.”
I have my own theme I’d like to conquer by using poetry and would like to see if it helps.
This week’s prompt involved water:
Grandma’s death washed me dry
and left me without any layers.
I spoke the truth but it felt twice removed
because she kept secrets like a gypsy.
Guilt crept in and rinsed my skin
clean of any wrongdoings.
Because truth be told, none of us knew
the real J. Ruth in the beginning.
If you were asked, “what are you best at?” what would your answer be? The first talent of mine that pops front and center in my mind, is my ability to find fun in the cheapest of places.
There are a slew of ways to enjoy life that don’t break the bank. All you need to do is put some effort into it, like taking a hike.
Spending the day outside is free. Some parks will charge a $5 parking fee but those are easy to avoid. Black Star Canyon Falls is a challenge, but worth the sweat and sore biceps.
Go take a hike is probably what you’re thinking, right? How you going to tell me going outside is your big bright idea of free fun, like I didn’t know that already.
Hey-hey, calm down. I just want to reiterate the importance of the sweat and sun combo. I can’t remember who, but someone said there is nothing better for your soul than spending time outside.
But how do you find trails near you? Glad you asked!
I use the AllTrails App to find hikes I want to do every weekend. This weekend we ventured out to the Cleveland National Forest and took on Black Star Falls Canyon hike.
Here’s a few photos from my trip to the top of Black Star Canyon Falls.
We started at 8AM and the sun wasn’t an issue until the last 2 miles back to the car. If you’re going to bring your dog, I’d suggest starting out at 6 or 7AM at the latest because the trail is less crowded.
You are walking on a paved road for quite some time but once you hit the river bed it gets interesting. I personally wouldn’t rate this hike as difficult when it’s dry, but can understand during the rainy season how it could be hard if the riverbed was flowing and cutting down trail options.
With that being said, there is an alternative dirt path that runs parallel to the river bed. My husband and I brought six bottles of water and were fine. OC Parks suggests a gallon of water per mouth.
Once you get to the Black Star Canyon Falls there is a path up and around the cliff to get to the top of the falls. It’s steeper and requires pulling yourself up on rope. The path to the top is up and to the right of the falls.
Despite the buckets of rain Southern California got this year, the falls were reduced to a leaky faucet by the end of August. No matter, I’d still recommend this hike, because who doesn’t enjoy climbing 30 foot boulders?!
Any good pet owner wants to give their animal the best life possible. An open meadow for your horse, a jungle gym for your cat and a big fluffy green backyard for your dog…
Unfortunately the grass isn’t always greener when living in an apartment. I shouldn’t complain, I’m probably a part of the slim percentage in Southern California who have a backyard and is renting.
My problem is the included backyard is not what it looks like in the listing pictures. Buyer beware.
It’s a giant dirt patch during the summer months when all the hard work I put in during the damn winter and rainy season gets fried out by the summer sun.
I want my dogs to have GRASS DAMMIT!
Unfortunaltey I said this wish a little loud one day and it sent my Hubs straight to Google to search water system for apartments which then led to a small argument about wasting money. Ya know, the usual.
Doing any kind of manual labor to enhance any part of a rented home (especially apartment) is a waste, personally speaking of course. This is not an idea the Hubs agrees with full heartily.
After a day’s worth of negotiations, we came to an agreement. I’ll jump on board for this if he agrees to me never letting him live it down if he doesn’t want to dig it up after we move.
It only took an afternoon to install, probably would’ve been quicker had we had all the right tools to begin with. Our ground is tough because we live up in the foothills, so parts of my yard is like digging up dried rock. We needed a pick to speed up the afternoon project.
I would highly recommend something other than a shovel. Unless you want to have the most miserable 4 hours of your life, have at it.
But guys, in only two flipping weeks this is what my grass looks like! My dogs love it! There is less dirt coming in through the doggy door and they aren’t laying in the mulch anymore.
I’m the cheapest. My husband hates it, but I can’t help it. I don’t like spending money on unnecessary items, but this is the best $100 I’ve spent in a while and would recommend it to anyone desperately in need of grass for their pet’s enjoyment.
All those healthy recipes on Pinterest photograph well, but do they taste as well as they look? I’ll let you know. Today’s case involves a three ingredient banana fudge recipe.
Healthy alternatives and paying attention to what we put into our bodies is important. I’m an advocate for health and fitness, but I won’t front. A pint of Everything But The by Ben & Jerry’s is not safe in my freezer.
I like to eat. I like to eat good food. I don’t want to give up brownies for the rest of my life, but I do follow the rule everything in moderation and believe having a healthy relationship with food is just as important as a healthy balance of fitness and diet. I struggle with the latter, too, but I’m getting better.
Now, Let’s get to it. Are these 3 ingredient banana fudge cups worth making and eating as an alternative?
What are the three ingredients?
1 cup of almond butter (or any nut butter)
1/4 cup of coconut oil
2 mashed bananas
I mixed the ingredients and popped them into my LINED muffin tin. I emphasize the word lined because it was shocking I didn’t have to grease the tins individually and then hope it all came out of their individual homes. The true test of ‘greasing’ skills.
Here are a few examples of what they looked like when I was making them.
This made 2 dozen Banana Fudge cupsIt smells pretty phenomenal when you add your nut better, but how could it not. 🙃
And for the moment of truth, did I like the “fudge.” Watch the video below for my real time analysis, complete with honest facial expressions.
I want to reiterate the choice word fudge. This isn’t fudge and it ain’t gunna taste like the dense chocolate goodness grandma makes, either. It’s good, but not fudge. So don’t take my reaction as hope it will taste like fudge.
If you try it, let me know how you enjoyed this 3 ingredient banana fudge recipe in the comment section.
|EDIT| What you should know:
The Hubs couldn’t finish his banana fudge cup, one bite was all he needed to determine this wasn’t the life for him.
I ended up only eating two cups and throwing the rest out a week later. Guess it wasn’t worth it for me in the long haul.
At eight years old I noticed not everyone lived the same way and wanted to make a difference in the lives of those less fortunate. Reading that last entry Dear Diary: I live in Walden, made me happily pause to re-read what I had wrote 20 years ago.
This Dear Dairy experiment started in hopes to figure out who I was as an adult by reading the diary entries of my past. It may be too soon to tell and I don’t want to jinx it, but I think it might be working.
Have I always known exactly who I wanted to be? Maybe I just needed to force myself to remember.
Dear Diary: I love that funny guy …
December 23, 1997
I love that adein sanders!
December 25, 97
Today I saw the real
Santa Claues on T.V.
Now I know there is a
Santa Claues in the world.
tell my children that.
December 26, 1997
I LOVE THE SPICE GIRLS
December 29, 1997
Rember the claddaugh neclies
to the symbol, hart symbol of love, hands - symbol of friendship
crown - symbol of loyalty. It was from Grandpa and Grandma S!
December 29, 97
On grease I am Sandy and I love Danny! <3
December 30, 1997
Rember I can fly in my dreams.
Those are the best <3
Happy Gilmore had probably just came out and it wasn’t his one liners that stole my heart, it was the saving grandma’s house story line.
I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really really want… and I wanted to be Scary Spice. She was and remains to be, my favorite Spice Girl. Sorry in advance for getting the song stuck in your head.
Giving bunny ears to Scary Spice at Madam Tussauds Wax Museum in New York City.
Did you walk to the gas station after school every day to buy a Spice Girls sucker, with high hopes you’d get the final sticker you needed to complete your collection? #guilty
Everyone loves Danny Zuko, enough said.
Dreaming is important, both figuratively and literally. As time has passed, I’ve forgotten to dream about possibilities of the future. Life can be hard, but it’s important to keep on dreaming. Don’t allow bumps in the road to determine your overall goal.
The first big move has happened. I no longer attend Wolcott Street School in Le Roy, New York. Corn fields do not elongate my backyard or catch my model rockets durning the summer. We livin’ in the big city now.
Welcome to LeRoy, New York.
[insert car brakes screeching, records skipping or nails on a chalk board]
Walden wasn’t big city living, it was bigger small town living compared to LeRoy. Another bonus was my bus ride, I wouldn’t be stuck on an hour long route. Walden is also where my Mom achieved Mayor status.
Well, not actually the Mayor but if she would’ve ran for Mayor in the town of Walden, she could’ve won by a landslide. Tu Madre knew everyone in town and there was no such thing as a quick run-in to the grocery store with her, she’d get stopped two or three times to chat.
Welcome to Walden, New York. Look at all those houses!
My uncle (her brother) used to ask if she wrist cramps for all her pageant waving. I moved out of Walden four years later and have only been back once, same goes for LeRoy. It would be interesting to go back, even better with my Orange County husband. He thought Florida was country ….
Something interesting has happened since beginning this odd journey down memory lane. The narrative inside my head has began to change. Instead of constant self-doubt, a thin sliver of confidence has cracked my inner voice and it’s getting louder.
But let’s not jinx it.
Dear Diary: December 1997
December 19, 1997
rember Tammie's family.
December 20, 1997
My first sleepover in Walden.
You know taly Ho in Midlda and the girls seid it to.
December 21, 1997
I love Mrs. Clements the hamster!!
And Pepper!! <3
December 22, 1997
I love Grampa in heven!!! <3
December 22, 97
I like that guy on smooky mouton christmas!
December 20
I feel bad for poor people maybe
one day I will make a sand of food and poor people can eat
and I would give some of my clothing for them!
Maybe when I grow up I will do that if I rember!!
Yeah, so I named our family hamster after my Kindergarten teacher and then told said teacher I had named a rodent after her …
There is no better flattery than a 7 year old loving you so much they want to name their pet after you, at least here’s to hoping that’s what she thought.
The last diary entry gave me a whole lotta pause. It’s incredible how small children can have such huge (greater than themselves) thoughts.
Of course there’s no memory of what prompted this post, but little Shannon would be pleased to know I beelined for nonprofit work after college and haven’t stopped helping those who can’t help themselves.
PS: Smokey Mountain Christmas, who?
PSS: ‘I love Grandpa in heaven,’ makes me a little uncomfortable, almost so much that I wasn’t going to acknowledge its existence. Grandpa in heaven was hardly mentioned after my Dad’s dad passed and is never talked about now.
It freaks me out that this person (who I only knew for 6 years) gave my own Pops life and has been erased from conversations. Death is weird and everyone copes the best they can.
I have a confession. I flipped through a couple of the pages in my next diary and had a quick thought I should end this NOW. Guys, it’s SUPER embarrassing. It starts somewhere in the early middle school years. Ya know, when it’s cool to write your name with your crushes last name…
I’m going to have to start drinking while I write these; liquid courage.
Quick recap: Still no Neil or Alissa. It has snowed a bunch which isn’t riveting because it’s Buffalo. It snows all the time. No joke, had a birthday party in May and snow started to dust the ground while we swung at the piñata. My diary signature ‘Love Shannon’ has disappeared, probably because it wasn’t cool anymore.
Oh yeah, and my family has three bat stories.
Here is December 1997.
December 9, 97
Andrew
is cool!!!!!
December 10, night 97
I have to be magic
Because I took plastic. A
little piece of plastic,
and put it on my finger
and it fell on my elbow
because My finger was
sticky and the plastic
stick to me and not
just my elbow!
December 10, 97, night
Even Kelly, James, MoM are magic,
But I don't know
if DaD is But,
if are
then his is <3
December 11, 97
I
am
Magic!
December 11, 97
I Love
Andrew in
my class
Walden Elementary school!!!
December 12, 97
I love
Scooby Doo!
[Dear Diary] My name is Super Nerd and I’m highly embarrassing.Jesus, I’m going to have to start digging out my old yearbooks. Andrew, if you’re out there and not too terribly shy, show your face! I’d like you to do this willingly so I don’t get sued if I flash your picture.
Could I even get sued for revealing the face of my 4th grade crush? There’s gotta be a statue of limitations already in the books regarding 15 year old crushes.
Oh, and I’m magic. Just in case you somehow missed it up there in the big red letters.
This little girl doesn’t even know what magic is yet. She still thinks the only magic left in the world surrounds Santa, the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny (swear I saw him, once. He was creeping outside my bedroom door one Easter. He KNEW I was waiting up for him to hop in and was fake sleeping.).
Just you wait little girl. A whole world of magical mischief is only a few years away from rocking your bookshelf. You’ll spend many nights at the midnight book releases AND movie premieres. Just. You. Wait.
Not going to attempt to explain the plastic on my elbow rant up there. I was eight, give me a break.
PS: Who didn’t love Scooby Doo?
PSS: It took until high school to figure out Shaggy and Scooby were a couple of stoners.
PSSS: I wonder if my siblings ever knew I thought they were magic.
It’s 1997 and so far, there isn’t one damn mention of Y2K, nothing about my collection of Beanie Babies, or my want of an Easy Bake Oven that Santa forgot to bring two years in a row! What the hell?
This purple plastered Garfield diary is making it rounds, so have faith. All the goods must be yet to come.
Quick recap: No sign of bus crush Neil or Best friend Alissa. I haven’t moved closer to The Big Apple yet, because I remember it happening after Christmas break. My TV crush is Danny and have discovered the holy grail movie, Grease.
Here is November 1997.
Nov. 11th 1997
Today Me Kelly, James rebilt
the Fire pit
and even we,
put the wood back.
Nov. 12 1997
every Day
I hug Mrs. Pike
I love her Because
she is nice, Buitful,
cool, loving, and caring.
Mrs. Pike is the
Best teach in the
whole wide world.
Nov. 12th 1997
<3 Mrs. Pike <3
Nov. 12th 1997
Today it is
snowing out.
Nov. 16th, 97
Today it just
snowed again and
even depper!
Cool!
I am going to make a
snowman. Cool!
[Dear Diary] It looks like I’ve graduated from pencil to red pen, cheers!There I go again, capitalizing the ‘b’ in best, must’ve had a really strong inclination best was important as a child and should ALWAYS be emphasized.
Pretty sure depper is deeper, although for a short second I thought it might be Pepper – our first family dog. But that didn’t make any sense, context clues people.
I purposely didn’t write out teacher, I meant teach. For as long as I can remember I’ve had a knack at shortening words for the fun of it. I still do it to this day and have no idea why or how/when it started. It looks like I’ve been doing it since the beginning of time.
That damn fire pit.
One night the whole fam-bam was sitting around it when bats started to swoop down and when I say swoop, I mean Kamikaze swoop. Within seconds Mom is wrangling her three kids and hauling ass back into the house while Super Dad swings plastic patio chairs in the air.
Believe it or not there are two more hilarious bat stories in our family.
(1) Mom, Grandma, Grandma’s longtime boyfriend (get it Granny), my sister and brother and I, took a vacation up to boyfriend’s lake house on Lake Erie. Us kids were sharing the upstairs bedroom while Mom and Grandma shared the bed downstairs, boyfriend got the couch.
Us kids had just snuggled in to our beds for the night, and I was reading my book by the nightlight (I’ve always been a nerd) when one of my sibs started to scream. “Something came in through the window! Something came in through the window!”
I hadn’t heard anything as I was in deep with my Babysitter’s Club book, so I started to look around. One curtain shake a later, a bat came flying out and smacking into the walls. We all went downstairs screaming.
And while we all went downstairs screaming, Grandma’s boyfriend came flying up the stairs (in his underwear) with an empty cereal box and a broom. Not sure what he was going to accomplish with his items, but we laugh about it still to this day. The mental image of an old, sleepy bald man in his underwear, who is standing in the hall dazed and confused, with an empty cereal box and broom.
(2) The family was at Home Depot getting whatever families need at Home Depot for a weekend project. We were walking down the main aisle and my Dad was lagging a little bit farther behind.
I turned my head for whatever reason and see my Dad crouched low with his hand in a swatting motion, aimed in my direction. In my head I’m yelling out, “What the flip did I do now!? I didn’t do anything! We’re in public!”
Before I could remember what I was guilty for, he swatted at something behind me and a quick whoosh of air went up my side.
A flipping bat. A damn bat was hanging on the back side of my shorts and hadn’t even noticed. Super Dad to the rescue.
Knock on wood, this is the last near death encounter anyone in my family has had with bats.
PS: We lived in the middle of freaking nowhere; loads of bats slept in the woods behind our house. The corn fields though, they made excellent model rocket launch pads after harvest season. Dad would light the fuse and us kids would chase the rocket down, twirling in aimless circles trying to be the kid who caught it.
My family has three bat stories, what does your family have? Haha. Let me know about your crazy animal encounter in the comment section below.
What else could be revealed in this week’s dose of preteen nostalgia? Let’s find out.
Quick recap: I’m very proud at the age I started walking, 9 months if you’ve forgotten. Alissa has made her regular pen-ins, but bus crush Neil has been increasingly absent and it can only mean one thing. I don’t love Neil anymore, what has the world come to?!
Here is September 1997.
Sept. 24, 1997
on
Fiuer it out.
And someone
on there is
cute his name is Danny.
Sept. 24, 1997(9?)
I have a
cute guy
his name is
Denny
from Grease
Nov. 15, 1997
I am
moving
To New York
City!
Sept. 25, 1997
My poor bother
is sick! I feel
bad! but my mommy
is taking him
to school
[Dear Diary] I have sinned. I misspelled Danny Zuko’s name. Forgive me.Mom wanted to go Grease Lightning on my ass after the six-hundredth ka-jillionith time of watching Grease. There are only so many times a girl can drool over John Travolta before losing her shit, sorry Mom!
Anyone else out there notorious for loving a good to-do list? The best part is checking off the tasks and probably explains all the jumbled-month diary entries. Just wanted to fill up my diary in a timely manner!
Fiuer it out has got to be Figure It Out? My husband and I just had a conversation about favorite 90s TV shows, otherwise I’m not sure I could’ve cracked the code. Plus, wasn’t there a Danny regular on the show?
Or was there a Danny from All That who was my hottie? Lawd, I’ll never know.
PS: Poor Moms, always being blamed. How’d you like that semi-passive aggressive blow to my Madre for taking my poor sick brother to school?
PSS: “I’m moving to New York city!” If only this kid knew it’d be the first of many “I’m moving to ______.” And it wasn’t New York City, it was a small town in Hudson Valley just outside New York City. Totally digging I have it documented though.
PSSS: I googled Danny. I’m pleased to say my memory has done gooooood. He was on both Figure It Out AND All That. I think I might be like-like him all over again, because who doesn’t love the Giants for ruining Tom Brady’s perfect season?
PSSS: I googled Danny. I’m pleased to say my memory has done gooooood. He was on both Figure It Out AND All That. I think I might be like-like him all over again, because who doesn’t love the Giants for ruining Tom Brady’s perfect season?
RamblinRandol 