Introvert, Extrovert, Or Both?

I like to guarantee myself space. There is nothing wrong about you needing quiet and alone time to recharge your batteries. For a long time, I felt shame when I had the urge to separate myself, mostly because those around me made it feel like a bad thing.

Plus, being called an introvert feels like a dirty word. Who would want to be labeled as introverted when they’re the stereotypical quiet, shy, meek and feeble person in books, movies, and what your friends say about ‘those people?’

But let me tell you something, the definition of introverts and extroverts are not based on personality types i.e. introverts are shy and extroverts are fun and outgoing. It’s about where you get your energy from.

Introverts recharge by spending time alone. Extroverts recharge by being social. There is nothing wrong with you if you feel re-energized by spending time alone, and if you feel no shame about where you get your energy from then, way to go you! You’re ahead of the game!

Oh, and curveball, most of us fall somewhere in the middle and are categorized as an ambivert. There are very few true introverts and extroverts.

For example, I recharge by spending time alone, enjoy one-on-one conversations, and have close relationships with few people which are more introverted qualities. On the flip side, I accept change, can work a room filled with people I don’t know, speak up in meetings when I’m not prompted and get distracted easily because multi-tasking is. my. jam! These qualities are more extroverted.

Feel free to check out this quiz to see where you land. I got ambivert BTW. Also, this chart from HuffPost is a fun either/or graphic…

huffpost introvert extrovert graphic

I would let (again and have now realized) others make me feel bad when I needed space because of their comments, “Shannnnnnon, c’mon! Stop being such a recluse, you gotta quit being so…”

There is nothing wrong with saying no to social functions on behalf of your own need to recharge. What they think of you for needing the space is none of your business, remember?

And as Ron once said to Harry…

harry potter quote about not letting the muggles get you down

Cheers to becoming more grounded in who I am as a person. Holy shit it’s taken long enough.


Judge, Jury, and Executioner – Guilty As Charged

This past weekend was interesting. I had a few conversations with different people about vastly varying topics that all came together (somehow) on one of the drives home. Ya know, during the debrief conversation with the Hubs after an all-day social outing. Everyone does that, right?

These conversations can be either enlightening or argument inducing, thankfully it wasn’t the latter and left me with a new little gem about myself I can carry into interactions moving forward.

Conversation One: my sister-in-law came to visit this weekend with her brand new baby boy. We got away one afternoon and walked around Fashion Island so she could get some of her favorite treats to bring home to Reno and during one conversation we discussed her new role as a mother.

She had a difficult time conceiving, suffered from PCOS, went to numerous doctors, tracked her ovulation and did rounds of scientific intervention via a pill I can’t remember. All she wanted was a baby. The stress was unbearable and she began to question her worth.

If she couldn’t have a baby, what kind of woman was she? (her words not mine) This statement led to ‘conversation one.’ She sat on one end of the spectrum regarding womanhood and I realized that I sit very far on the other.

Conversation Two: this actually had multiple conversations intertwined but I want to stick to the largest point because it led to convo three. And yes you guessed it, this convo involved my arch nemesis, love.

I don’t even like writing the word love, just seeing it makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable and blehhhhhhhh. But if I’m being honest, I feel like the word love is another one of those words that get overused and holds no value anymore. People just say it all willy-nilly and it doesn’t seem right (to me).

So with the above mentioned in mind, conversation two was with someone who loves a whole lotta people, would literally do anything for their large group of friends and family, who also includes me in this circle.

The thing is I have a hard time believing any words of admiration thrown my way because, well, they say it to a lot of people so how do I know it’s not bullshit?

Conversation Three a.k.a. The Debrief with Hubs: I like to hear how my Hubs percieves topics regarding relationships because usually, we have two different understandings or presumption. So I brought up convo two to hear his take…

Apparently (according to the Hubs & does seem to be true) if it were between believing someone and not believing someone, I would err towards not believing someone. “If there’s no smoking gun or proof, you don’t take it to be true,” said the Hubs, “and sometimes it makes talking to you more difficult than it needs to be.”

To stay truthful I did ask him to give me an example, and it’s because I don’t like guessing. I don’t want to assume it might be one thing when it could be another. I like to stay ahead of the ball, so why bother fucking around with assumptions when I can get a straight answer by asking the question head-on.

And without missing a beat, he provided one. And to stick with being truthful, his example is an argument we’ve had a few times and because I’ve yet to see it in action, I don’t believe it. 

His other one-liner for the car ride home to be noted is, “you make it my job to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt.” I gather he means it’s not everyone’s job to put on a trial for the judge and jury which just so happens to be me.

Okay, but how do all three of these relate to one another? Well, the conversation regarding motherhood is the base for this trifecta. I don’t operate based on opinions of others or what ‘everyone else does,’ because it comes back to my mom’s good ‘ol saying, “if they jumped off a bridge, would you?”

If you aren’t giving me ass, grass, or cash, you outta keep your yipper closed.

Society has been putting pressure on women for a zillion-bajillion years for no other reason than, ‘they said so.” Literally, the weakest fucking argument known to mankind. You’re not a good woman unless you get married, have babies, and be this well-rounded individual who can manage the household and ALL THE ERRANDS.

My response to the societal norm? “Oh HELL no!”

Just because I’m a woman I’m expected to get married and have children, and I don’t buy it. Just because people say they care for you, doesn’t mean they do because actions speak louder than words and I gotta say, a lot of people will say it but not act like it.

The moral?

And just because I know this about myself, now I can pay attention to when I’m starting to get a little judge and jury. This is a good quality to have, but not in all instances. Some things don’t provide proof and I have to learn how to trust.


Now to keep up with my promise to practice gratitude to fight my tendency to forbode joy: Currently feeling gratitude towards the strength I possess that helps me have those hard conversations. Growth is hard, but my ears are finally open. What are you feeling gratitude towards? Let me know in the comment section, below. 

Cultivate it.

play better on Instagram than Facebook but regardless, be my friend online. RamblinRandol is my quest for true belonging.




Cutting Loose Ends

I don’t want you to know me. This makes the relationship burden on my end simple and I’ll do whatever possible to keep this narrative simple. Mess bothers me, I like to cut my ends in one easy snip.

The second people think they know you, is the second they try to invade your personal space. For example, the second I got married was the second it became appropriate to ask me about when we’d be having children.

It’s an intrusive question about an intimate act done in private and basically asks my husband when is he planning to ejaculate his sperm with no restrictive materials so they can meet my eggs and have a party.

Believe it or not, there is a large group of people who appreciate privacy and boundaries and I’ll dare great to say I’m happily leading the pack. Yes, there is a part of me that yerns to be known and I’m having trouble finding the balance  because I value both privacy and connection.

I don’t enjoy letting anyone ‘get to know’ me because then unsolicited advice and ridiculousness gets thrown my way which I should be able to take with a grain of salt but don’t because I take it personal.

Words matter, and if yours sound condesending or judgmental, I’m going to take it personal that you decided you had little respect for my life smarts and felt obligated to tell me how it should be. I’ve lived alotta life you don’t know about, what’s that phrase about assuming?

Here’s a visual if you don’t get my description, does anyone remember that commercial about bullying and the kid has all the nasty things being said to him written on his body with marker? This is how I feel about people and their damn opinions. It is so much easier to keep everyone else out so they’re words won’t mark me.

Lately it feels like a whole-lotta people are trying to force me to be this person I’m not and it’s pushing me way in the opposite direction. I feel like I’m being squeezed and being set up for failure. So my walls go up and instinctually put up a fight.

This is a personal problem, I’m aware, and it boils down to control. I can’t control how others act, but I can control how I act when I feel emotionally violated, intruded upon and/or stomped over no matter how hard I try to communicate.

For example, one of my coworkers hates it when the toliet roll isn’t put in the canister with the paper facing up. She claims its harder to use so she fixes it each time it randomly happens to be facing the wrong way.

If it didn’t bother her this anaolgy wouldn’t work, but it does bother her when the paper gets turned around and she has to fix it. Instead of realizing this is a personal preferance and she chooses to turn it a certain way, she decides someone is doing this on purpose because, “how does one not know which way to correctly load a toliet canister,” and is purposfully incoveincing her by making her switch the roll and complains about it from time to time.

In this case, I need to swap the toliet paper roll with opinions (possible literally speaking, too) and figure out a way to understand I don’t have to react in anger each time I feel like I’m being sqeezed into a box or purposefully being forced into swapping out the roll.

I don’t want people to know me because when people know you that’s when you’re vulnerable to pain, because when they do and say things to hurt you the natural defensive response will always be “they didn’t mean it” or “they mean well,” which completley dimishes the pain felt upon the inflicted.

The solution? Believing I am enough. Wholeheartidly knowing who I am despite what others categorize me as, that those small descriptions don’t define me. It doesn’t matter what people say or do because I’m comfortable in my own skin. The trick is to figure out how to believe it. 

Now, If I could just practice it quicker so I could master this idea of being enough. I’m saying this with a smirk because nothing worth it ever comes easy 😉 

The problem with constantly trimming your ends is never letting the ends grow to their full potential. I get it a little better than I did a year ago, but I’m nowhere near better at practicing the belief that I am enough.

Now to keep up with my promise to practice gratitude to fight my tendency to forbode joy: Currently feeling gratitude for my patient husband. What are you feeling gratitude towards? Let me know in the comment section, below. 

Cultivate it.

play better on Instagram than Facebook but regardless, be my friend online. RamblinRandol is my quest for true belonging. 





Missed Opportunity That Has Me Buggin

It’s the middle of the week, which means the weekend is ALMOST here. Anyone got anything fun going on? I’ll be getting lost in San Fransico and hiking Big Sur with the Hubs. I can’t wait to nerd out at Alcatraz, too!


For those who were around Monday and saw my balloon face, I’m happy to report my face has gone back to its natural saggy-self, bags under my eyes and everything, but if it’s not one thing it’s another 😉 … I missed an opportunity to inspire the kids I work with every Friday, and it’s eating me up.

Two weeks ago I put an ask out for school supply donations to help KidWorks provide for its after-school programs. Staples immediately gave me three boxes of notebooks and a promise to get back with me for the possibility of more supplies (which reminds me it’s been a week and I should probably follow up).

Because I had donations to drop off, I pulled my car up to the front and began unloading. Some of the kids in my class saw my car and started asking if I was rich, how much did I pay for this car and what do I do for a living.

Had just one asked I might’ve had enough time to respond the way I wanted to, but instead, there were about four little girls oo-ing and awing, demanding an answer. To which I replied, it’s not polite to talk about money and hadn’t you heard what none-ya said? None ya bees-wax. Cue laughter and comments about my jokes being old (wait, when did that happen?! haha).

This may sound like a reasonable response and a good lesson to learn early on, but what I wish I would’ve said was this,”I grew up just like you, so one day if you work hard enough for it, you could drive this kind of car, too.”

Ya know, a real Hallmark moment.

I fell back on what I was told growing up and it bums me out because I missed an opportunity to tell the kids (in so many words) it doesn’t matter what your financial circumstances are now, if you work hard enough and believe in yourself you too can drive around in a bright blue mustang one day.

And that’s what I needed to hear as a kid.

I get it, nobody is perfect and I shouldn’t beat myself up about this one time, so I’m going to keep repeating this until the anxiety of not responding how I wanted subsides, because next time I will have the wherewithal to express the importance of dreaming for better.

Also, their ‘you’re rich!’ statement made me extremely uncomfortable and a little offended. It’s the first time anyone has thought of me as ‘well off’ and I’m still not sure how I feel about it because I didn’t grow up rich, with a silver spoon in my mouth, and nobody gave me anything, I had to fight for it.

Now I’m torn between enjoying the fruits of my hard work and determination, and still being scrappy Shannon who pinches every penny to make sure when the bottom falls out, I can still pull myself up by my bootstraps and carry on.

It’s a strange path to be walking, and incredibly fascinating a comment from a young person can send me back to this place of uncomfortableness between how I grew up and what I’ve become. I never not want to remember my roots.

There’s no need to ignore the friction, the only way I’m going to figure out how to deal with these two worlds is by sitting in the comfortableness. Ignoring will only delay the solution. Right?

If you’re like me and have a tendency to plow through emotions that are tough to swallow, I encourage you to wade around in those uncomfortable waters to see what you come out with on the other end. You might surprise yourself with a simple solution.

Three Sisters Waterfalls Hike

The hike down the canyon into the valley was serene. A canopy of purple-flowered shrubs lined a good 1/4 to 1/2 mile of the trail and could even here bumblebees buzzing around the blooms. Spring has officially arrived in Southern California.

We got to the trailhead at about 8:30 A.M. and it felt more crowded on our trek back up at 11 A.M. Earlier is always better in my book.

The last 5 miles before pulling into the trailhead parking lot is a dirt road and there are well-kept porta-johns, I mention because I was surprised! California has had an average rainy season this year and the water levels in mid-April were full and flowing.

All Three Sisters were gorgeous. Keep in mind during the hotter months there’s very little shade on this hike and it’s a good steep hike back to the car. I wouldn’t bring my dogs because the risk of overheating is high, even though I’m sure they’d scale the rocks better than me.

AllTrails suggests to only use this hike from October to April and is recommended for very experienced adventurers, which I would agree with as the hike back up the canyon SUCKS. lol

Here are some of the photos from this weekend’s adventure.


Planning these little weekend trips have been a real blessing to my marriage. We both work our asses off and forget to enjoy each other sometimes, enjoying the sounds of nature has been a breath of fresh air, for reals.

So I encourage you to plan a little getaway, doesn’t have to be far (or expensive). Mother Nature has a lot to offer, so go take a hike. 🙂

Cultivate it.

RamblinRandol is about finding yourself and learning to love yourself again. Life is real and raw, there’s no room for perfection here. If you’d like to join the Hot Mess Express tribe where we discuss the daily struggle and bring real life to light, come hang out in my new Facebook group, here


Be my friend on Instagram @shannahan22  

I’ve Got Stamina

I’m late, I know. This should’ve been posted by 9 a.m. but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to blog about today and was waiting for something to present itself.

Well, nearly two hours later it has hit me.

I’m sitting in my office listening to Sia’s The Greatest, typing up my first script for Someone Like You podcast and I’m tearing up.

If you can’t recall the lyrics by heart, here’s a snip:

Uh-oh, running out of breath, but I
Oh, I, I got stamina
Uh-oh, running now, I close my eyes
Well, oh, I got stamina
And uh-oh, I see another mountain to climb
But I, I, I got stamina
Uh-oh, I need another lover, be mine
Cause I, I, I got stamina

Don’t give up, I won’t give up
Don’t give up, no no no
Don’t give up, I won’t give up
Don’t give up, no no no

I’m free to be the greatest, I’m alive
I’m free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest
The greatest, the greatest alive
The greatest, the greatest alive


For the first time in my life, I feel genuinely happy and not because a vacation is around the corner, my Hubs surprised me with a gift or I achieved a goal I was working towards.

My insides are happy just because…

Like, so happy I want to cry about it, haha.

I’m working on a podcast that focuses on solving (or creating a conversation that leads to solving — I’m good with either notion) the homeless youth problem we have in America.

It has lit a fire in me I’ve been waiting for and it feels so. damn. good.

What’s even more insane is that I’ve shared it with the people I care about. The fact I’ve given this goal a voice (instead of silently working it over in my head over and over) and it’s felt so good to talk about it, before (and kinda still now) I thought giving it a voice would jinx it.

Something inside me has been freed.

I don’t spend weeks editing a blog post before hitting publish. The words to describe my feelings, ideas, wishes or recent enlightenment, come a lot easier than in recent years.

And after almost 30 years of not liking myself as a person, I think I’m finally starting to truly love myself for the first time, ever.

Blogs are meant to serve the audience, and while I’m not sure this one does anything for you (the reader) I hope it (at least) encourages you to keep trying to find the ‘thing’ that lights you on fire, because everyone deserves to feel the warmth inside I’m now feeling for the first time and I want it for you, too.

Or maybe it helps you acknowledge you don’t love yourself and makes you want to find out how…

There’s no one solution to finding your fire or loving yourself, but I can tell you that surrounding yourself with people who are really for you and are safe is a start, because even when you don’t believe in yourself, that tribe of supporters will help you see the light, eventually (depending on how stubborn you can be or how resistant to a tribe you are, full disclosure: I was both).

You have to want to grow, acknowledge why you are the way you are and grieve the losses (slights from your parents, wishes that were never granted, privileges others got that you weren’t graced with, etc.) that have occurred throughout your life.

Everybody has problems. You’re not any different. Begin to figure out how to let them go and grow.

My tribe is filled with people I didn’t want on the inside three years ago, including co-workers. I did a few process groups (aka, group therapy) and read a few self-help books (Safe People by Henery Cloud, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks), and then did the work needed internally.

I’m not done, but I’ve got stamina.

Cultivate it.

RamblinRandol is about finding yourself and learning to love yourself again. Life is real and raw, there’s no room for perfection here. If you’d like to join the Hot Mess Express tribe where we discuss the daily struggle and bring real life to light, come hang out in my new Facebook group, here


Be my friend on Instagram @shannahan22  



I don’t need to be taken care of and it’s a problem, sometimes…

From a very young age I was taught to never depend or expect anyone to take care of me, and over the years that mentality warped to include never asking for help.

I didn’t ask for it when I was trying to figure out how to pay for college. It never occurred to me to ask anyone how to plan a wedding. I was one week away from being homeless before a friend stepped in and offered her couch.

But in that same token, I moved out at 18-years-old and didn’t ask for one damn penny. Ever since my babysitting days, every dime I made went to savings. It was prideful to know I furnished my first apartment and not a damn soul had a string attached to me because all my bills, food and needs were paid for by me.

This is also how chips on shoulders are formed. My drive to push through college while working and doing three internships was driven by fear, not confidence (even though that’s what everyone looking from the outside in saw).

I was terrified of becoming a nobody waitress.


Where did that come from? I got a double dose from both parents.

I think it derived from my Dad’s old school upbringing of keep your nose down and work your ass off mentality, which is what gave me my great work ethic.

My Mom had three kids under five by the time she was 28-years-old and knew how dependent she was on my Dad’s paycheck. She wanted her daughter to get the education she never got and be self-sufficient, which is why I made sure I finished college.

Even when I had to take a 16-month hiatus because of the military life, my mom’s voice in the back of my head reassured me I’d get back to college and finish.

I would be educated.

I’m self-sufficient and don’t need anyone to take care of me because I have proven time and time again, all I need is a strong me to get me through anything.

There’s kickback from certain friends and family who confuse need with love. I’m married and I love my husband, and yes I do need him to be my husband.

But, I don’t need him to provide the bacon so I can fry it up. The ideal life for me doesn’t include a husband who works and does all the providing while I pick up a hobby in hopes it makes me side-money, or pop out babies or both!

Does that make sense?

I need him to be the best husband he can be, just like he needs me to be the best wife I can be. We’re co-partners in a long-term relationship who need to work together to stick together.

Know what I’m saying, now? We’re equal shares.

There are goals I’ve been working to achieve and won’t rest until I get ’em. I’m lucky the Hubs is supportive and secretly hoping his wife makes it “big” so he can officially say he robbed the grave, futuristically.

When did my self-sufficiency bite me in the ass? The moment it got confused with asking for help.

There’s a damn difference between “being taken care of” and asking for help. A huge damn difference.

It took me a long time (almost 29 years) to really understand the difference. There’s power in being independent, and there’s power in reaching out to others when you need a good laugh, talk through a hard situation, for comfort or reassurance, or even literally help in making connections to peruse an idea that’s lit a fire under your ass that you’ve only realized it a month ago.

The last bit might have been the moment I had that opened my eyes to the difference between taking care of and help. And it might have only happened yesterday afternoon…full disclosure, never said I had all of the answers.

Yesterday was the first time I asked for help, and it was the best decision I made for myself. It’s going to lead to additional opportunities to help me reach my overall goal. The Beatles knew it, even if “I get by with a little help from my friends,” probably meant drugs. The philosophy is the same. 😉

Cultivate it.

RamblinRandol is about finding yourself and learning to love yourself again. Life is real and raw, there’s no room for perfection here. If you’d like to join the Hot Mess Express tribe where we discuss the daily struggle and bring real life to light, come hang out in my new Facebook group, here


Be my friend on Instagram @shannahan22  

A Step In The Right Direction

What’s that old saying? Do something that scares you every single day? Well, I kept good on my promise from last week. My first step is to reach out to everyone who could help me get started via email and then if I don’t get any response, I’ve made a promise to follow up with a phone call – the scariest outreach (for a millennial) of them allllll! 😉

Why haven’t I voiced what the hell I’m trying to do, yet? Because this damn quote I read about being successful says basically actions speak louder than words, so if I’m spending all my time talking about it, I’m going to jinx it and never get the ball rolling…

Yes, I do believe in the jinx curse. It’s a real problem in Fantasy Football and it’s bitten me in the ass enough times to believe in the almighty.

This shouldn’t be how I operate decisions, probably. But I kinda like mentioning it so that I keep myself accountable. I also operate out of guilt, which is also not healthy and I’m working on it.

On a separate note, the scary activity I’m doing today is also exhilarating! At noon I’m meeting with the outreach coordinator at KidWorks to interview for a volunteer teaching position.

Throughout the last few years, it’s become very apparent how important it is to enrich your own life. I think I lived under the false hope that something good would fall into my lap or present itself to show me what I needed. Imagine when it hit me upside the head that I was in charge of my own enrichment?!

This ability to look within must come as you near your thirties. It’s been a year of self for me and it’s weird. I digress…

Volunteering my time at Kidwork’s KU program is going to be the new ‘enrichment’ I need that gives me a breath of fresh air and I’m telling you this rambling mess in hopes you go out, grab your life my the kahonas and find an activity that gives you a breath of fresh air.

If you already know yours, drop it in the comment section below for someone who needs some inspiration. 

Cultivate it.

RamblinRandol is about finding yourself and learning to love yourself again. Life is real and raw, there’s no room for perfection here. If you’d like to join the Hot Mess Express tribe where we discuss the daily struggle and bring real life to light, come hang out in my new Facebook group, here


Be my friend on Instagram @shannahan22 



SMHS – “Cravings” defined by my Hubs

It’s Friday, so you know what time it is. Time for #SMHS – Sh*T My Husband Says!

There’s something special about being married and by special I mean hilarious. After a certain amount of time has passed you begin to get into the deep minutia of life and crazy metaphors, conversations, and ridiculousness get exchanged.

Here’s this week’s gem.SMHS6

I really wish you guys could’ve seen my face when the Hubs literally defined the word craving while dismissing its hold over him simultaneously. Good thing he’s cute ;).

Cultivate it.

All I Wanna Do Is…

…make a difference, why does it have to be so difficult?

Duh, because nothing worth it in life is free. Accomplishments wouldn’t carry any weight or satisfaction if they were given to everyone who wished for success.

After a conference I attended in San Deigo, I had a brain burst about my next chapter in life and actually spoke it [the dream] out loud to a few people before spending an absurd amount of time obsessing over every which way it [the dream] could go.

And to my surprise the feedback was positive. They asked questions, they wanted to know how I’d turn it into a career and encouraged me to write out the business plan.

Let’s pause a second. Had I not said, “screw it, let’s see what some of my colleagues think,” and heard the positive reaction, there’s a good chance I would’ve mulled the idea over until convinced it was a terrible plan and sure I shouldn’t waste any more time on it. 

It’s important to remember that the most critical person closest to you, is you. Now, are you listening? This next part is important. 

Putting your creative ideas out for others to see/hear is intimidating because what happens if you get negative feedback or are criticized? This ‘what-if’ scenario is like drowning your creativity in wet cement. Eventually, it’ll set and keep those ideas locked up, forever.

Secondly, who cares what ‘they’ say? Take constructive criticism seriously, not personally. Don’t forget the old saying, “everyone’s a critic,” or “opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one!”

Know the difference between constructive criticism and a talking head who isn’t listening. If you don’t know how to identify a talking head here are a couple pointers I’ve picked up on throughout the years.

Talking heads like to interrupt and they like to interrupt with ‘better ideas,’ something completely off topic or every once in a blue moon, a good point.

When someone interjects themselves mid-sentence, it means they weren’t listening in the first place. They were spending the entire time you were talking thinking of something to say. I know I can’t trust a person entirely when they half listen.

Know the difference between constructive criticism and a talking head.

I’m taking my own advice, BTW. This week I have a goal to contact a couple people for a face-to-face meeting. Now, I’m still hesitant to let you in on the project, because I need a few balls rolling in the right direction before letting the cat out of the bag.

Stick around, I’ll keep updating you as the balls get rolling–this feels like the beginning of something great and I want you all to be a part of it!

RamblinRandol is about finding yourself and learning to love yourself again. Life is real and raw, there’s no room for perfection here. If you’d like to join the Hot Mess Express tribe where we discuss the daily struggle and bring real life to light, come hang out in my new Facebook group, here