Category: Blog

Sharing every aha moment and bump I’ve hit throughout this self-discovery, self-improvement, and self-awareness journey I’ve been on. It is NOT my first rodeo.

The Ins and Outs of Empathy: Recapping Section Four Dare To Lead.

I have high respect for people who are great at empathy because it’s a rare skill set to find in others.

A lot of people will claim to be great at empathy because they’re sympathetic or give great advice. This isn’t empathy, for instance:

Continue reading The Ins and Outs of Empathy: Recapping Section Four Dare To Lead.

Taste Testing Lemon Crunch Cake by Martha

I know, I know. You thought my taste test recipes were a thing of the past. And they are, but I found this lost blog in my drafts and decided to jump on the opportunity to publish it and give myself a break this week.

Lemon flavor anything didn’t use to be a favorite of mine, but then I got hired into an office of lemon freaks and slowly became appreciative of what the lemon can offer.

An office birthday led me to stumbling on this Martha Stewart recipe and I have to say…it’s worth the work.

Continue reading Taste Testing Lemon Crunch Cake by Martha

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Southern California Spots

Who loves the Netflix original Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee with Jerry Seinfeld? You can’t see me but both of my arms are in the air…I’m writing this sentence with my tongue.

There is also a small chance I want to visit all of the spots he goes to in the Southern California area since I live here…so I compiled a list (including the most recent season) of all the coffee spots the show has hit this far.

Here they are:

  1. JOHN O’GROATS, LOS ANGELES

  2. RAE’S DINER, SANTA MONICA

  3. JERRY’S DELI, STUDIO CITY, CA

  4. NORM’S DINER, LOS ANGELES

  5. MILLIE THE MALIBU KITCHEN, CALIFORNIA’S, LOS ANGELES

  6. FACTOR’S FAMOUS DELI, LOS ANGELES

  7. HANDSOME COFFEE ROASTERS, LOS ANGELES

  8. JONES COFFEE, PASADENA

  9. 212 PIER, SANTA MONICA

  10. ART’S DELI, STUDIO CITY

  11. NOVEL CAFE, SANTA MONICA

  12. CAFFE LUXXE, SANTA MONICA

  13. BRITE SPOT, LOS ANGELES

  14. KILLER CAFE, MARINA DEL REY

  15. MED CAFE, MARINA DEL REY

  16. INTELLIGENTSIA, VENICE

  17. DU-PAR’S RESTAURANT & BAKERY, STUDIO CITY

  18. ALFRED COFFEE & KITCHEN, LOS ANGELES

  19. 10 SPEED COFFEE, LOS ANGELES

  20. 101 COFFEE SHOP, LOS ANGELES

  21. THE HIGHLAND CAFE, LOS ANGELES

  22. HOUSE OF PIES, LOS ANGELES

  23. TRE LUNE, LOS ANGELES

  24. BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL, LOS ANGELES

  25. ESPRESSO PROFETA, LOS ANGELES

  26. GOOD STUFF, LOS ANGELES

  27. ROSE CAFE, LOS ANGELES

  28. CANTER’S DELI, LOS ANGELES

  29. LUNETTA, SANTA MONICA

  30. ROSCOS, LOS ANGELES

I’ve left iHop off the list…he went with the Inglorious Bastards star either in the first or second season. If I make it through the list then MAYBE I’ll visit it just to officially mark it as complete.

Do you have a similar situation? Which show and where is it do you want to go because of it? Tell me in the comments ❤

Everything you have ever wanted, is sitting on the other side of fear. (3).png

RamblinRandol is my journey back to loving myself (which happens to include this type of randomness). It’s an open letter on how I’m growing through what I’ve been through. And like Maya Angelou said, “the ache for home lives in all of us…” It’s time for me to feel at home in my own skin.

Click here to be my digital penpal and receive an email from mwah twice a month or hang out with me on Instagram @sjrandol.

 

(One Of) The Best Pieces Of Advice I’ve Received

(One of) the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received was actually scribbled on a stock image and re-shared on Facebook by an old high school friend (thanks, Kaylin!). The second my eyes finished reading the final word, an audible “oh” escaped my lips while a simultaneous explosion erupted in my head and heart.

Read morE

What Do The 5 Closest People In Your Life Say About You?

Who has read Melissa Ambrosini’s Mastering Your Mean Girl?

A chunk of her points can be found in other self growth books (which has to be an obvious clue these ladies are on to something), but I appreciated her focus on filtering life through a lens of love to achieve your highest potential.

She also asks the reader a lot of questions and gives space in the book to write your answer. Fun Fact: I LOVE questionnaires.

But today’s blog is not a recap of the entire book, today I want to focus on just ONE of the chapters regarding divine relationships because recently I had to let a relationship in my life go, and it was painful (yet also therapeutic and freeing).

This section of the book was a friendly reminder I made the right choice, and I’m sharing just in case you need to read it, too.

Q: Who are the five most prominent people in your life? 

Have you named them yet? I’ll wait…

……….

…….

….

..

….

…….

……….

…….

….

..

Who else used to do that ^^^ in notes you passed to your friends in middle or high school? lol, it’s the little things you guys. 🙂

Alright, do you have your five? Great. These top five relationships are a direct reflection of you. Read that again. They are a direct reflection of you. 

Melissa writes, “you see, we are a product of the people we surround ourselves with, which means whoever you’re hanging out with the most says a lot about who you are and who you are becoming. With that in mind, when you look at your list, is your immediate reaction ‘oh, crap!’ or ‘Hell yea, that’s awesome–these people are amazing; I am so inspired by them and grateful to have them in my life.”

Some people are really good at sucking the life and/or energy out of ya, and sometimes there is no removing yourself from the situation (coworker, boss, family member) so then what?

“Ask yourself what changes do I need to make within or to that relationship to make it more inspiring or healthy for me?” says Melissa.

The entire chapter stresses the importance about surrounding yourself with good people because these relationships influence your life. So why waste any of your precious time, space or energy on people who don’t appreciate it?

“The purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. – Neale Donald Walsch

RamblinRandol is my journey back to loving myself (which happens to include baking). It’s an open letter on how I’m growing through what I’ve been through. And like Maya Angelou said, “the ache for home lives in all of us…” It’s time for me to feel at home in my own skin.

Click here to be my digital penpal and receive an email from mwah twice a month or hang out with me on Instagram @sjrandol.

 

 

3 Questions To Help Find Your Purpose

How the fuck do you find your purpose?

If this thought ran through your head too you’re not alone, boo.

I almost didn’t listen to the podcast episode that inspired this post because it had the word purpose in the title, for some reason the notion of finding my purpose feels frivolous and like a huge waste of time.

But lucky for me, the podcast title included the word myths and this intrigued the cynic in me. Yup, I basically listened with the expectation it would tell me what I wanted to hear: don’t waste your time on searching for a purpose; it’s a crock of shit.

Spoiler alert: I got an aha moment, instead, and a huge LOL at myself.

According to Jay Shetty (On Purpose host) when you pay attention to what makes you passionate, it then leads to you figuring out your purpose; passion leads to purpose.

My favorite part of the podcast was when he explains most people attempt to “chase down their passions” in hopes something will stick and make sense. This leads you to look outside of yourself (usually creating a lot of distractions) when really, you need to be turning inward and paying attention to what lights your own fire.

This bit led to a conversation with my Hubs about the ‘fun project’ called Stuff My Wife Makes on Instagram…while I love to cook new recipes, it was taking away from what I really enjoy doing…blogging about the stuff that matters to me and has helped me grow.

Turns out my Hubs didn’t want to do the mini-series anymore because he was never going to say anything terrible about something I made. Plus, most of the recipes I made were ones I knew he’d enjoy tasting. It was also starting to feel extremely tedious on my end which also sucked all the enjoyment I got out of cooking and baking.

There’s nothing wrong with saying goodbye to a project not meant to be. We tried something new, and it turned out to be a distraction. On to the next!

In order to figure out your purpose, Shetty asks listeners to consider these three questions:

Q1: Do you know yourself deeply, have you taken the time to date yourself and understand what makes you tick inside and out?

He continues the question by asking you to make a correlation between your favorite movies or books and yourself.

Q2: What do you love to learn? What do you love to teach?

And measure the answers to those questions by how it feels in your heart, not what it sounds like in your head. In your head, it’s easier to let what others might say influence your decision. So pay attention to your heart. ***OMG THIS. No wonder so many Disney movies tell you to pay attention to your heart!***

Q3: If Jay Shetty was going to pay for you to have 100 hours of personal development, how would you divide the hours up between the stuff you’re good at, the stuff you’re average at, and the stuff you’re bad at?

Would you put all of your focus into what you’re bad at and a little into what you’re average and good at? Would it be the other way around where you focus only on what you’re good at and then divide the rest between average and terrible?

What was your answer?

Mine was to put most of the energy into what I’m terrible at and then divide the rest between good and average because If I’m already good with x,y, and z, then why wouldn’t I focus on what needs improving? Don’t successful people work on their weaknesses first?

Nope, apparently not! Those who are successful in their field focused a majority of their energy on their strengths…

[insert forehead slap]

Duh. This makes sense.

Don’t you just love realizing the obvious?

Why does everything sound so much clearer when you get outside of your own head? 😉

Here’s to minimizing the distractions and leaning into what fuels your heart.

If you want to check out the podcast episode for yourself, click here.

Did you have your own aha moment while reading? Please share with me in the comments.

Oprah quote about finding passion

RamblinRandol is my journey back to loving myself (which happens to include baking). It’s an open letter on how I’m growing through what I’ve been through. And like Maya Angelou said, “the ache for home lives in all of us…” It’s time for me to feel at home in my own skin.

Click here to be my digital penpal and receive an email from mwah twice a month or hang out with me on Instagram @sjrandol.

The Brave & Brokenhearted Manifesto

Have you read Brene Brown’s Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted? It’s a story I go back to each time I feel like dipping out when the going gets too tough.

Paragraphs three, four and five are my favorite to re-read over and over when I need the reminder.

And it goes like this:

There is no greater threat to the critic and cynics and fearmongers than those of us who are willing to fall because we have learned how to rise. 

With skinned knees and bruised hearts; we choose owning our stories of struggle, over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.

When we deny our stories, they define us. When we run from struggle, we are never free. So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye.

We will not be characters in our stories. Not villains, not victims, not even heroes. 

We are the authors of our lives. We write our own endings. 

We craft love from heartbreak, compassion from shame, grace from disappointment, courage from failure. 

Showing up is our power. Story is our way home. Truth is our song. We are the brave and brokenhearted. We are rising strong.

I won’t let my past dictate my future. I get to write my own ending. I’m not one to play the victim but I can work on not feeling like the villain.

Side rant: it drives me batty when people are hell-bent on playing the victim, turning every injustice into a personal attack on their own day.

Will you look in the mirror and ask yourself the hard questions? Will you look your truth in the eye and not run from it? What would happen if you stopped running and started to tackle it?

Hold yourself accountable. Save yourself. It’s only ever up to you to make a difference in your own world. Ask a question. Seek understanding before you judge.

Tackling my own demons has been my biggest struggle these past two years, and yet, the most rewarding.

Stay hungry for the growth my friends.

 

 

Are You Filling A Space You’re Not Meant To?

The most recent episode of Red Table Talk on Facebook Watch titled Healing Emotional Scars with Ciara is a good watch for anyone with a blended family, in a committed relationship, or is looking for inner personal growth…so, basically everyone?

Around the eleven minute mark, Jada and Ciara get into a discussion about navigating life with bonus children and parents.

“I have a bonus son from Will’s first marriage, who I adore, but in the beginning, it was challenging because Trey already had a mother, and I had to learn how to have that motherly compassion without trying to fill that space because it was already taken,” said Jada.

Filling spaces that are already taken, hot damn, let’s say it to ourselves again because I think this idea is universal!

This sparked two thoughts/questions:

  1. Where is the line between motherly compassion and overstepping boundaries?
  2. Where am I guilty of trying to fill a space that’s already taken?

Where is the line between motherly compassion and overstepping? Everyone’s line placement is subjective due to life experiences, but I do think it’s fair to say if someone has communicated where their line is and you keep pushing, that’s when it’s a problem.

The key is to have enough self-awareness to recognize when you’re feeling pushed and if/or when you’re doing the pushing (which ties into point two). People are telling you (verbally or with body language) how they want to be treated so if you choose to ignore by only doing what you want, that’s on you.

Where am I guilty of trying to fill spaces that aren’t meant to be filled by me? Oh, plenty, but I’ll only mention one, haha.

I struggle with feeling responsible for other people’s behaviors and/or actions when my worlds (friends, coworkers, family, etc.) collide.

It goes back to how I was raised and how the phrase ‘guilty by association’  was hammered into my head, that paired with emotionally immature parents who couldn’t control their moods was the perfect equation for me (the oldest) hoping if I could manage all the moods in the room a fight wouldn’t break out because when one did, it always ended up feeling like it was my fault.

So I tried to fill a space where I was in charge of everyone’s behaviors and actions to eliminate embarrassment on all sides, which made being in a room filled with people I knew impossible.

But FYI, people are responsible for their own actions, not you. Guilty by association is bullshit (I double checked with my therapist). This space is not mine to fill, and it’s one I’m happy to bow out of with my middle finger in the air, waving it goodbye.

Where are you trying to fill a space you’re not meant to fill?

Everything you have ever wanted, is sitting on the other side of fear. (19)

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Plan B – Flying Anxiety

If just the thought of being 30,000 feet above the ground is enough to send your head spinning and make your heart race, we same same. Traveling by plane makes me want to jump out of my skin and run a thousand marathons simultaneously.

This wouldn’t be a problem if seeing the world wasn’t on my to-do list, but it is, so here we are. Now, what am I going to do about it?

Enter Plan B (Plan A being an anxious ball of wound tight nerves from the second my suitcase leaves my bedroom until the moment it returns back to its place in my bedroom).

This is my Plan B, feel free to take bits to help make your own Plan B.

But first, mindset.

I wasted a lot of time trying to conquer my fear instead of searching for ways to manage it. Flip the script in your head and ask yourself how can I manage this? instead of focusing all your energy on getting through it.

Changing your perspective (and giving yourself grace) will help you recognize what’s fueling your anxiety and what would ease it.

Here’s what didn’t work for me.

  1. Pretending I wasn’t getting on an airplane and waiting until the very last minute to pack. This did nothing but amp up my nerves because all of a sudden everything was happening all at once the night before my early a.m. flight.
  2. Essential oils. A coworker gave me her essential oils and a breath exercise to help put me in a calming space. I couldn’t manage to get outside of my own head long enough to grab the oils or want to do the breath exercise in the middle of the airport.
  3. Having the flight and my anxiety associated with the flight a topic for (what felt like) constant conversation isn’t helpful. If I don’t bring it up, please don’t talk about it.

Plan B:

  1. Focusing on one step (task) at a time. I start to panic about two weeks out, and when it happened I told myself “NO, focus on packing,” and then after I’m done packing I’ll focus on the car ride to the airport, then getting through TSA, etc. So far it’s worked.
  2. Beyoncé Homecoming playlist for takeoff and any other moment in between when I need reminding I’m a strong woman.
  3. New mantra: “I’m a badass” to say on repeat while the plane is climbing for cruising altitude (or as needed).
  4. Reality checking my anxiety (therapy gem) by reminding myself “stressing out is habit, so my brain is just following protocol and doing what I’ve trained it to do.” Also, my fear about flying is about crashing, so relating checking also means telling myself the safety FACTS about air travel.
  5. Listening to my Plane Anxiety meditation on Headspace. I did this last time I had to fly and it was HELPFUL. It teaches you how to ground yourself which came in extremely helpful during turbulence.

Reality Checking Info:

Americans have a 1 in 114 chance of dying in a car crash, according to the National Safety Council. The odds of dying in air and space transport incidents, which include private flights and air taxis, are 1 in 9,821. That’s almost three times better chances than you meeting your fate by choking on food.

You’re more likely to be struck by lightning with a one in 13,000 chance.

Aircraft go through a massive amount of testing before they even get off the ground, and there’s still plenty more after that. You can watch some of the most extreme tests in the video above from the Business Insider YouTube channel.

If there’s one thing you take away from these facts, make it this: turbulence isn’t a safety concern. Turbulence is, as commercial pilot Patrick Smith explains, a nuisance, but not a huge danger to you or the plane:

For all intents and purposes, a plane cannot be flipped upside-down, thrown into a tailspin, or otherwise flung from the sky by even the mightiest gust or air pocket. Conditions might be annoying and uncomfortable, but the plane is not going to crash. Turbulence is an aggravating nuisance for everybody, including the crew, but it’s also, for lack of a better term, normal. From a pilot’s perspective it is ordinarily seen as a convenience issue, not a safety issue.

And most importantly, never forget you’re not perfect because nobody is and chances are your anxiety will get the best of you, again. But with practice, you’ll get better at managing it.

Everything you have ever wanted, is sitting on the other side of fear.-3

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