ramblinrandol – Page 3 – RamblinRandol

Are You Filling A Space You’re Not Meant To?

The most recent episode of Red Table Talk on Facebook Watch titled Healing Emotional Scars with Ciara is a good watch for anyone with a blended family, in a committed relationship, or is looking for inner personal growth…so, basically everyone?

Around the eleven minute mark, Jada and Ciara get into a discussion about navigating life with bonus children and parents.

“I have a bonus son from Will’s first marriage, who I adore, but in the beginning, it was challenging because Trey already had a mother, and I had to learn how to have that motherly compassion without trying to fill that space because it was already taken,” said Jada.

Filling spaces that are already taken, hot damn, let’s say it to ourselves again because I think this idea is universal!

This sparked two thoughts/questions:

Where is the line between motherly compassion and overstepping boundaries?
Where am I guilty of trying to fill a space that’s already taken?

Where is the line between motherly compassion and overstepping? Everyone’s line placement is subjective due to life experiences, but I do think it’s fair to say if someone has communicated where their line is and you keep pushing, that’s when it’s a problem.

The key is to have enough self-awareness to recognize when you’re feeling pushed and if/or when you’re doing the pushing (which ties into point two). People are telling you (verbally or with body language) how they want to be treated so if you choose to ignore by only doing what you want, that’s on you.

Where am I guilty of trying to fill spaces that aren’t meant to be filled by me? Oh, plenty, but I’ll only mention one, haha.

I struggle with feeling responsible for other people’s behaviors and/or actions when my worlds (friends, coworkers, family, etc.) collide.

It goes back to how I was raised and how the phrase ‘guilty by association’ was hammered into my head, that paired with emotionally immature parents who couldn’t control their moods was the perfect equation for me (the oldest) hoping if I could manage all the moods in the room a fight wouldn’t break out because when one did, it always ended up feeling like it was my fault.

So I tried to fill a space where I was in charge of everyone’s behaviors and actions to eliminate embarrassment on all sides, which made being in a room filled with people I knew impossible.

But FYI, people are responsible for their own actions, not you. Guilty by association is bullshit (I double checked with my therapist). This space is not mine to fill, and it’s one I’m happy to bow out of with my middle finger in the air, waving it goodbye.

Where are you trying to fill a space you’re not meant to fill?

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Plan B – Flying Anxiety

If just the thought of being 30,000 feet above the ground is enough to send your head spinning and make your heart race, we same same. Traveling by plane makes me want to jump out of my skin and run a thousand marathons simultaneously.

This wouldn’t be a problem if seeing the world wasn’t on my to-do list, but it is, so here we are. Now, what am I going to do about it?

Enter Plan B (Plan A being an anxious ball of wound tight nerves from the second my suitcase leaves my bedroom until the moment it returns back to its place in my bedroom).

This is my Plan B, feel free to take bits to help make your own Plan B.

But first, mindset.

I wasted a lot of time trying to conquer my fear instead of searching for ways to manage it. Flip the script in your head and ask yourself how can I manage this? instead of focusing all your energy on getting through it.

Changing your perspective (and giving yourself grace) will help you recognize what’s fueling your anxiety and what would ease it.

Here’s what didn’t work for me.

Pretending I wasn’t getting on an airplane and waiting until the very last minute to pack. This did nothing but amp up my nerves because all of a sudden everything was happening all at once the night before my early a.m. flight.
Essential oils. A coworker gave me her essential oils and a breath exercise to help put me in a calming space. I couldn’t manage to get outside of my own head long enough to grab the oils or want to do the breath exercise in the middle of the airport.
Having the flight and my anxiety associated with the flight a topic for (what felt like) constant conversation isn’t helpful. If I don’t bring it up, please don’t talk about it.

Plan B:

Focusing on one step (task) at a time. I start to panic about two weeks out, and when it happened I told myself “NO, focus on packing,” and then after I’m done packing I’ll focus on the car ride to the airport, then getting through TSA, etc. So far it’s worked.
Beyoncé Homecoming playlist for takeoff and any other moment in between when I need reminding I’m a strong woman.
New mantra: “I’m a badass” to say on repeat while the plane is climbing for cruising altitude (or as needed).
Reality checking my anxiety (therapy gem) by reminding myself “stressing out is habit, so my brain is just following protocol and doing what I’ve trained it to do.” Also, my fear about flying is about crashing, so relating checking also means telling myself the safety FACTS about air travel.
Listening to my Plane Anxiety meditation on Headspace. I did this last time I had to fly and it was HELPFUL. It teaches you how to ground yourself which came in extremely helpful during turbulence.

Reality Checking Info:

Americans have a 1 in 114 chance of dying in a car crash, according to the National Safety Council. The odds of dying in air and space transport incidents, which include private flights and air taxis, are 1 in 9,821. That’s almost three times better chances than you meeting your fate by choking on food.

You’re more likely to be struck by lightning with a one in 13,000 chance.

Aircraft go through a massive amount of testing before they even get off the ground, and there’s still plenty more after that. You can watch some of the most extreme tests in the video above from the Business Insider YouTube channel.

If there’s one thing you take away from these facts, make it this: turbulence isn’t a safety concern. Turbulence is, as commercial pilot Patrick Smith explains, a nuisance, but not a huge danger to you or the plane:

For all intents and purposes, a plane cannot be flipped upside-down, thrown into a tailspin, or otherwise flung from the sky by even the mightiest gust or air pocket. Conditions might be annoying and uncomfortable, but the plane is not going to crash. Turbulence is an aggravating nuisance for everybody, including the crew, but it’s also, for lack of a better term, normal. From a pilot’s perspective it is ordinarily seen as a convenience issue, not a safety issue.

And most importantly, never forget you’re not perfect because nobody is and chances are your anxiety will get the best of you, again. But with practice, you’ll get better at managing it.

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Taste Test: Upside Down Banana Bread Cinnamon Rolls

This Friday’s Taste Test recipe is Tasty’s upside down banana bread cinnamon rolls. How could I NOT make these? *In my Chandler Bing voice. Banana bread is my freaking favorite. I could eat a whole loaf with no guilt, seriously.

You know what banana flavor is awful? Can you guess? I’ll tell you at the end, think about it 😉 Anyways, will I love the shit out of this recipe because I love banana bread so much? Scroll to see if it made the cut!

But first, a quick reminder I’m not a food blogger. There will be no flour-dusted cutting board photos in-between hefty paragraphs filled with adjectives. The word foodie sends an awful noise of nails on a chalkboard down my spine.

I only want to share the recipe and what I learned when baking or cooking it for the first time. The act of making food for others is how I show love, and it’s my fun time. Trying to make something for the first time is always exciting for me because you either nail it or you don’t.

Here we go:

THE RECIPE:

1 cup whole milk  4 tablespoons unsalted butter, 1/2 stick  ¾ oz instant yeast, 1 packet  ⅓ cup granulated sugar  ¼ teaspoon salt  3 ripe bananas, mashed   4 ½ cups all-purpose flour, divided  2 tablespoons oil

FILLING

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

¼ cup granulated sugar

1 tablespoon cinnamon

CARAMEL SAUCE   ½ cup unsalted butter, 1 stick  1 cup brown sugar  1 teaspoon salt  1 teaspoon vanilla  ¼ cup honey  1 cup walnuts, chopped

In a large, microwave-proof bowl, combine the milk and melted butter. Microwave for 40 seconds, until the milk mixture reaches 110˚F (45˚C). Add the yeast, then let sit for 10 minutes.
Add the granulated sugar, salt, mashed bananas, and stir.
Add 3½ cups (435 g) of flour, ½ cup (60 g) at a time, stirring between each addition.
Transfer the dough to a floured surface and knead for 3 minutes, adding more flour ¼ cup (30 g) at a time if the dough is sticking to your hands or the surface. Form the dough into a ball.
Add the oil to clean large bowl and place the dough in the bowl. Cover with a kitchen towel and let rise for in the refrigerator for at least 3 hours, or overnight, until doubled in size.
Once the dough has risen, roll it out to a ¼-inch-thick (6-mm) rectangle about 18×12 inches (20×30 cm).
Make the filling by mixing the melted butter, granulated sugar, and cinnamon together in a small bowl.
Spread the filling evenly over the dough. Roll up the dough and slice into 15 1½-inch (4-cm) thick slices (discard the ends).
Make the caramel sauce: In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the butter, brown sugar, salt, vanilla, and honey. Keep stirring to prevent the sugar from sticking to the pan. Bring to a gentle boil, then remove the pan from the heat.
Pour the caramel sauce into a 9×12-inch (23×30-cm) baking dish and sprinkle the walnuts on top of sauce. Arrange the rolls in the dish so there are 3 rows of 5 rolls.
Cover with plastic wrap and let the rolls rise for 15 minutes, in a warm place.
Preheat the oven to 350˚F (180˚C).
Remove the plastic wrap and bake the cinnamon rolls for 40 minutes, or until light golden brown.
Let cool for 20 minutes, then invert the rolls onto a serving platter. Leftover cinnamon rolls can be stored up to 5 days in the refrigerator. Reheat in the microwave or oven.

MY FINDINGS:

I used all 4 1/2 cups of flour, the recipe calls to mix 3.5 and then add 1/4 cup as needed while kneading but it is the stickiest dough EVERRR so it took all 4.5 cups.
The yeast

WOULD I MAKE IT AGAIN?

Maybe. The verdict is still out. Everyone BUT me was in love with them. 😂

Have you tried this recipe, too? What did you think about it? Tell in the comments, belowwwwwwww.

ps: It’s yogurt. Banana flavored yogurt taste like spoiled mayonnaise. Woof, just think I barfed a little…my bad!

pss: The original recipe can be found here.

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Taste Test: Baked Alaska

This Friday’s Taste Test is the Baked Alaska which is considered a unicorn in the dessert world because you don’t see it much anymore. What makes this recipe a challenge is the damn meringue.

Molding the layers of ice cream is the best part! You feel like a sculptor of foods and it’s satisfying to know you’re creating layers of goodness. An easy cheat to making the cake bit is using a white cake box mix. And you best believe I did this cheat 😉

I made this for Christmas at my Father In Law’s house, and I failed miserably. So miserably it’s comical. Never in my life had I ever made meringue and after 15-ish minutes of hand mixing the egg whites I called it good…big mistake.

As you can guess the meringue DRIPPED down the sides as everyone watched. You can’t win them all folks. Scroll to see if it made the cut and the photo proof evidence how terrible it came out.

Here we go:

THE RECIPE:

2 quarts vanilla ice cream, softened

1 (18.25 ounce) package white cake mix

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon almond extract

8 egg whites

1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar

1/8 teaspoon salt

1 cup white sugar

Line the bottom and sides of an 8-inch round mixing bowl or deep 8-inch square container with foil. Spread ice cream in container, packing firmly. Cover and freeze 8 hours or until firm.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour an 8×8 inch pan.
Prepare cake mix with egg and almond extract. Pour into prepared pan.
Bake in preheated oven according to package instructions, until the center of cake springs back when lightly touched.
Beat egg whites with cream of tartar, salt, and sugar until stiff peaks form.
Line a baking sheet with parchment or heavy brown paper. Place cake in the center. Turn molded ice cream out onto cake. Quickly and prettily spread meringue over cake and ice cream, all the way to paper to seal. Return to freezer 2 hours.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
Bake the Alaska on the lowest shelf, 8 to 10 minutes, or until meringue is lightly browned. Serve at once.

MY FINDINGS:

If using a hand mixer, whip the egg whites until you have carpal tunnel…seriously. My recommendation would be to only make meringue if you have a stand mixer because 1) easier on the wrists 2) it’s quieter, hand mixers are LOUD.

WOULD I MAKE IT AGAIN?

Yes, but not until my ego has healed. It was pretty delicious tasting, dripping meringue or not.

Have you tried this recipe, too? What did you think about it? Tell in the comments, belowwwwwwww.

pss: The original recipe can be found here.

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Taste Test: Low Carb No-Bake Peanut Butter Coconut Cookies

This week’s #TasteTest recipe is a low carb no-bake peanut butter coconut cookie. I’m not on a diet but sometimes I like to try these low carb ‘treats’ just to see if they’re as good as they look. Do you think it’ll make the cut? Scroll to find out!

Here we go:

THE RECIPE:

```
⅔ cup natural peanut butter
```
```
2 tablespoons coconut oil
```
```
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
```

1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut flake

Place the peanut butter and coconut oil in a medium microwaveable bowl. Microwave for 30 seconds. Stir to combine. Add the vanilla and stir.
Add the unsweetened shredded coconut flakes and mix until evenly coated.
Dollop the mixture on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Each cookie should be around 1½ inches (4 cm) wide.
Freeze until solid, about 15-20 minutes. Store in the refrigerator in an airtight container or bag.

56.03g total carbs 37.5g dietary fiber 18.53g net carbs/per serving 18.53g/8 cookies = 2.31g net carbs per cookie

MY FINDINGS:

It is goopy and will spread all over the place, don’t make your scoops too heaping because it WILL run all over the place, haha.
My trick would be to accidentally put sweetened coconut flakes in instead of unsweetened. Just say ‘oops’ so it counts as accidental.

WOULD I MAKE IT AGAIN?

Not a chance in Hell. I would make these with Jiffy and sweetened coconut flakes though…

Have you tried this recipe, too? What did you think about it? Tell in the comments, belowwwwwwww.

ps: The original recipe can be found here.

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Taste Test: Molten Churro Bombs

This week’s #TasteTest recipe is molten churro bombs which is code for fried drops of heaven filled with chocolate. Apparently, once you click on one recipe by Tasty you will be FLOODED with recipes on your timeline. The name alone would make anyone stop the scroll…

Do you think it’ll make the cut? Scroll to find out!

Here we go:

THE RECIPE:

- ```
1 cup water
```

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, 1/2 stick

½ cup sugar, plus 2 tablespoons, divided

- ```
½ teaspoon salt
```
- ```
1 cup all-purpose flour
```
- ```
3 large eggs
```
- ```
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
```
- ```
18 milk chocolate truffles
```
- ```
oil, for frying
```
CINNAMON SUGAR COATING
- ```
½ cup sugar
```
- ```
2 tablespoons cinnamon
```
```
SPECIAL EQUIPMENT
```

1 piping bag, with a small closed star tip

In a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, combine the water, butter, 2 tablespoons sugar, and the salt, and bring to a boil.
As soon as the mixture begins to boil, reduce the heat to medium-low and add the flour. Using a wooden spoon, stir until the dough comes together to form a ball, about 1 minute.
Remove the pan from the heat and let cool for 5 minutes before proceeding to avoid accidentally cooking the eggs.
Mix in the eggs, 1 at a time, fully incorporating each egg before adding the next. Then add the vanilla.
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Transfer the dough to a piping bag fitted with a closed star tip.
Pipe 18 1½-inch (3 cm) spiral rounds onto the baking sheet. Top each with a milk chocolate truffle. Pipe the dough in a spiral to cover the truffles, being careful to completely seal the chocolate. Immediately transfer the tray to the freezer and freeze for 1 hour, until solid.
Heat the oil in a deep pot until it reaches 350˚F (180˚C).
Fry in batches of 4 until nicely browned, about 3 minutes, turning so they fry evenly. Drain on a cooling rack, or paper towel-lined plate and dab off any excess oil.
Combine the remaining ½ cup sugar (100 G) and the cinnamon in a small bowl. Roll the warm churro bombs in the mixture to coat.

MY FINDINGS:

No piping bag, per usual. A good ‘ol Ziploc freezer bag with the end cut worked just as well.
When you mix the eggs in one by one it takes a while for them to mix in with the dough, don’t panic, just keep stirring. *in my Dory voice
The recipe mentions 3 minutes at 350, but mine took closer to 4 minutes to get a golden brown look. A good tell was when they began to float, mine would float a little past 3 minutes and then I’d leave them in its oil bath for 30 more seconds.
Also, don’t wait until they’re completely cool to dunk them in cinnamon sugar, the coating won’t stick as well if they don’t have a little hot oil still on them.

WOULD I MAKE IT AGAIN?

The Hubs didn’t feel the same way….here’s his review.

Yes! The melty chocolate makes for a good dipping sauce. Who wouldn’t like to dip fried cinnamon sugar bread into gooey chocolate? Hellooooo. I also feel obligated to say Hubs did not appreciate the chocolate, he’s a purist who believes the original recipe shouldn’t be messed with…but that if the chocolate was solid he might get on board. You can’t see me but my eyes are rolling, again because they rolled when he said it, too. Haha.

Have you tried this recipe, too? What did you think about it? Tell in the comments, belowwwwwwww.

ps: The original recipe can be found here.

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The Happiness Project: Your Next Read

Have you read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin? If you have, what did you think? For those who haven’t read the book, don’t fear, I’m going to give you the book’s best bits.

Real quick for those who need and/or want context, the book is about one woman’s year dedicated to being a happier person. Each chapter provides action items to complete the month’s happiness theme. For example, chapter one (January) focused on boosting energy: her action items were going to sleep earlier, exercising better, de-cluttering, tackling a nagging task and act more energetic when she felt herself feeling exhausted.

And JIC you’ll never pick up this book, here are some takeaways, my best bits, and one personal truth you might need to hear, too.

<< keep scrolling >>

Examine your true rules. Identify the ones that are conflicting and/or unhelpful. Pay attention to the ones that are beneficial. Your true rules are mental rules of thumb or quick commonsense principles you apply to solve a problem. Example: nothing good happens after 2 AM or always greet people with a smile. What if “always in a hurry” and “enjoy the moment” are part of your true rules, it’s conflicting–work on getting rid of “always in a hurry.”
When your mind starts to go negative, flip the script and think of something funny that’ll make you laugh.
Acknowledge what makes you happy and not what you wished made you happy and do what makes you happy.
Look for happiness.
Quit waiting for ‘something special’ to use the good china or dress up nice.
“When one loves, one does not calculate.” – St. Therese of Lisieux
Play. Make more time for doing the ridiculous. Not every moment of the day needs to be efficient and productive. Lighten up.

Tips for getting your sweetheart to do chores–without nagging:

No carping from the sidelines: if your sweetheart made the travel arrangements, don’t criticize the flight time.
Suggest tasks without words: leave a note, put an empty container on the counter.
Limit yourself to one word: Instead of barking out, “I’ve told you a dozen times, stop off at the grocery store, we need milk!” Say, “Milk!”
Don’t insist that a task be done on your schedule.
Have clear assignments. My Hubs gets the car washed, I water the lawn.
Every once in a while, do your hunny’s chore.

Tips for getting a boost of energy in the next 10 minutes:

Go outside into the sunlight.
Go for a brisk walk.
Act with energy.
Listen to your favorite upbeat song.
Tackle an item on your to-do list.
Clean up!
Drink some coffee – it gets a bad rap depending on what article you read, but remember everything in moderation.

We’re more like other people, and less like other people than we suppose.
Things often get harder before they get easier.
It’s easier to keep up than catch up.
The things that go wrong often make the best memories.
We can’t make people change, but when we change others change and a relationship can change.
Most decisions don’t require extensive research.
Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination.
Every room should include something purple.
Nothing stays in Vegas.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
Don’t expect to be motivated by motivation.
Everything looks better arranged on a tray.
Something that can be done at any time is often done at no time.
It’s easier to change your surroundings than yourself.
Starting again is harder than starting.
Go slow to go fast.
The days are long but the years are short.

How many of these feel true to you? Number one has always felt true to me and number four is both hilariously and painstakingly true, but don’t even get me started on number seven…

I work myself silly in all different directions in order to be too exhausted to chip away at my ‘write a book’ goal. This book idea (a couple if I’m being honest…) has been in my head for the last five years, FIVE. When will I push past my own self-doubt and fear to tackle this dream?

Do you have a dream you distract yourself from doing?

I think step one (for me) needs to be to schedule it into my weekly routine and then stick to it so I make it a habit. Other times I think I just need a secluded environment for three days to knock it out. Oh yeah, and accountability. Maybe I need to pay my Hubs $20 every time I flake on myself, that’s motivational…hahaha.

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Cheesy French Onion Chicken

This week’s taste test recipe is a cheesy French onion chicken recipe I found on Tasty. This recipe has minimal steps AND ingredients, it can all be done in one SINGLE pan. If I could insert an Oprah gif (the one where she’s telling everyone they get a car) I would put it right here because one pan clean ups are my FAVORITE kinds of recipes…but will it make the cut?

In the honor of full disclosure I will tell you I’ve never been a fan of French onion soup…but my Hubs loves French onion so I made it knowing if I hated it he’d probably love it and would devour the leftovers.

Here we go:

THE RECIPE:

6 boneless, skinless chicken thighs  salt, to taste  pepper, to taste  1 tablespoon garlic, minced  1 tablespoon dried parsley  1 tablespoon butter  6 large onions, thinly sliced  1 tablespoon fresh thyme  1 cup beef stock  2 cups gruyère cheese, shredded  bread, sliced and toasted, to serve

In a bowl, add the chicken thighs, salt, pepper, garlic, dried parsley, and olive oil, and toss until evenly coated.
Add the chicken to a skillet on medium-high heat. Sear until golden brown, about 4 minutes. Flip and cook the other side of the chicken, 2 minutes. Remove the chicken from the pan and set aside.
Preheat oven to broil.
Add the butter, sliced onions, salt, and pepper to the same pan, stirring occasionally until softened. Reduce heat to low and cook until they are deeply caramelized, about 1 hour.
Add thyme and beef broth and bring the mixture to a simmer.
Add the chicken on top of the onions, and sprinkle with Gruyère cheese.
Broil for 5 minutes, until the cheese is melted and golden brown.
Serve over bread.

MY FINDINGS:

I didn’t have the time frame to reduce the onions down for an hour, it ended up being 30-ish minutes instead which was still flipping awesome.
No parsley or thyme in my cabinet like I thought (wasn’t going back to the grocery store, again) so I found a spice blend floating around the pantry called “Pasta Sprinkle” and used it instead. It contained Mediterranean oregano, California basil, and minced garlic.
If you’re curious about how much cheese I used, it was the e.n.t.i.r.e. block for good measure 🙂 My Hubs says you can never use enough cheese, haha.

WOULD I MAKE IT AGAIN?

HELL TO THE YES, IT WAS BOMB-DIGGITY! It is easy to make and packed full of flavor. It’s going in my rotation for dinners, for sure. Fun Fact: if you ditch the bread it’s Keto and/or low carb.

Have you tried this recipe, too? What did you think about it? Tell in the comments, belowwwwwwww.

ps: The original recipe can be found here.

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month

May is mental health awareness month and I wanted to dedicate this week’s post to remind everyone how important it is to keep the conversation about mental health-relevant.

Did you know:

1 in 5 young people in the U.S. has a diagnosable mental health disorder before age 18.
Half of the adults who struggle with a lifetime mental illness had symptoms before age 14, but most received no help.
Only about 1.3 of kids with mental health problems today receive any treatment.
Every dollar invested in children’s mental health saves $7 in future public costs.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people ages 10-24.
Stigma, denial, and lack of access to care are barriers to healing.
The earlier a child receives high-quality, evidence-based care, while the brain is rapidly developing, the greater the possibility of a positive outcome.

I’ve started to align myself with brands and people who are invested in self-care and mental health. The T-shirt company Self Care Is For Everyone does both and I am IN LOVE WITH THEM.

Its mission is to normalize the conversation around mental health and provide gentle reminders to our community of their inherent self-worth by emphasizing the importance of self-care in hopes of creating a future in which suicide and self-harm become things of the past. Also, 10% from the sales on our site go to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255), which provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, across the United States.

This is also their definition of self-care that I love to read every once in a while for a healthy reminder it’s okay to put myself first.

To be able to take care of others, you must first learn to take care of yourself. Self-care is often used as a vague term but put simply, self-care is anything you do to be good to yourself. Self-care is consciously choosing to be kind to yourself in whatever capacity you need. This includes being compassionate in the way you speak to yourself. Self-care is needed for the well being of your mental health & your physical health.

Ironically enough, when struggling with a mental illness, basic self-care becomes the least of your worries. However, your mental health, physical health, and spiritual health are all connected and caring for all three can be a crucial part of the recovery process. While self-care means something different to each person you meet, we all need it to survive. Self-care is understanding how you recharge, or what you need in order to feel the strength to take care of everything else going on in your life. Having a self-care practice forces you to get to know yourself on a deeper level, to better understand what you might need in a given moment. Do you need to lay down and listen to music for a bit? Do you need to go for a walk? Or do you need to make time to catch up with an old friend?

I plan on buying a size small in every shirt possible, basically. I have the “Grow Through What You Go Through” and “You Are Enough” t-shirts, they’re the perfect reminder for me.

Click here if you’re curious to see if they’ve got a shirt perfect for you too!

What will you do for yourself this month?

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Halibut Poached in Duck Fat

Do you like mild fish? Then this recipe is right up your alley. It is packed with flavor thanks to its duck friend and SUPER simple to make, albeit a little pricy.

Today’s Taste Test recipe is from Anthony Bourdain’s Appetites cookbook. Here we go!

THE RECIPE:

1 lemon

1 tablespoon canola or other neutral oil

1 tablespoon fennel seeds

Seeds from 2 cardamom pods

1 bay leaf

4 garlic cloves, peeled and sliced

2 halibut fillets (about 12 ounces each; ask your fishmonger to remove the white belly skin but to leave the dark dorsal skin attached)

Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

1 quart rendered duck fat (available at various
gourmet retailers and some butcher shops)

Serve with mashed potatoes

⁣Using the microplane grater, finely grate the lemon zest into a small mixing bowl and add the oil, fennel and cardamom seeds, bay leaf, and garlic, mixing well. Rub the fish on all sides with the mixture and refrigerate in a casserole or zip-sealed plastic bag for at least 2 hours and up to 24.
Remove the fish from the refrigerator about 15 minutes before you’re ready to poach it. Brush off the excess garlic and seeds. Season it on all sides with salt and pepper.
In a large, heavy-bottom pot, heat the duck fat over medium heat until it reaches 150°F, monitoring the temperature with the instant-read thermometer. Slip the fish into the pot and ladle the fat over so it is submerged. Let cook for 5 minutes, then remove from the heat, cover, and let sit for 10 to 15 minutes, until the fish has an internal temperature of 150°F.
Carefully remove the fish from the pot with a slotted
spoon or fish spatula, adjust seasoning if necessary, and serve with mashed potatoes.
Serves 4

MY FINDINGS:

The temperature of the duck fat is VERY important. Pay attention and monitor it.
It took a little longer for me to poach the fish because the halibut wasn’t submerged completely in the fat, if I were to make it next time I would make sure it’s better covered.
Tons of flavor. The best tasting halibut I’ve ever tasted.

WOULD I MAKE IT AGAIN?

No. I love Bourdain but there are plenty of other fish in the sea I’d rather eat. I’d say making it once to impress and check it off your list. Unless you don’t like strong tasting fish than this might be the next best thing since sliced bread!

If you make them this weekend, share your pictures in the comments or tag me in your post if you share on Instagram @sjrandol.

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