I skipped Friday’s post, and I’ve felt guilty about it all weekend. A lot has been going on and I couldn’t bring myself to silence my anxiety long enough to sit still and write down what was going on in my head.
My personal to-do list feels like it’s growing by the hour, without any progress or satisfaction of checking off a number of to-dos, daily. Instead, it feels like I’m drowning and it’s my own hand that’s holding me under.
Every morning I want to perform a checklist that helps actively grow my social media presence with an end goal it’ll help my podcast and ultimately promote my personal brand of small biz marketer consultant.
This includes posting every day on Facebook and Instagram, three blogs on ramblinrandol.com, trying to convince people to let me interview them and write out this damn business plan so it’ll help my pitch when I ask brands to give me a landing page.
This clearer vision ALSO requires me to REDO my landing page AGAIN. A need to square up my IG page and create a highlight that lets people know what they’re going to get from me, but I’m stressed about being honest because people from my past are going to judge HARD and it makes me want to fight.
Basically, I’m conflicted.
Thursday night I finally said out loud a truth I’ve been thinking about for awhile.
“I already hustled my way through my twenties, how come that couldn’t be enough?”
I’m tired of busting my ass, was feeling sorry for myself and sick of wrestling the frustration within my own head, so I offered it up for my Hubs to analyze.
His response was profound (I don’t give him enough credit, he knows me better than I acknowledge) and helped give me the perspective I needed.
“Your hustle in your early-twenties did exactly what you intended it to do, got you out of the restaurant industry and graduating college with your Bachelor’s degree. You met those goals so you created more, right? So now you’ve got to adjust your hustle to accomplish those goals.”
Well, hot damn, how come I couldn’t come up with that obvious answer on my own?
If I were content with life as it is now, then great, no harm no foul. But, I’m not. I’ve got bigger dreams I want to achieve. The quicker I get rid of the “I already busted my ass and beat the odds” mentality, the quicker I can get my ass in gear.
Not to mention I need a better system because I am OVERhelmed, but I do believe If I get my mind right the rest will systematically fall in line.
Step One: Getcha Mind Right.
RamblinRandol is about finding yourself and learning to love yourself again. Life is real and raw, there’s no room for perfection here. If you’d like to join the Hot Mess Express tribe where we discuss the daily struggle and bring real life to light, come hang out in my new Facebook group, here.
Okay, it’s time to spill the beans on what I’ve been working on the past 6 weeks…
I’m starting a podcast called Someone Like You and every week I’ll be interviewing a young person who’s experiencing life-changing opportunities thanks to a nonprofit.
At the 30,000 foot perspective, the podcast is about starting a conversation to address the epidemic of youth homelessness across America and specifically within Orange County, California.
I live here and hear the bias’ people perpetuate on a semi-regular basis. It’s important to understand no child asks to be homeless, and that the leading causes of youth homelessness include abandonment, mental health issues, and abuse.
Children don’t get to pick their parents and nobody makes you take a test before becoming one.
Per a report conducted by Covenant House on a single night in January 2016, there were over 35,000 unaccompanied kids out on the streets, and 89 percent of those 35K were between the ages 18 and 24, the remaining 11 percent were under the age of 18.
This isn’t okay.
Two years ago I participated in Covenant House California’s Sleep Out fundraiser, a national movement made up of individuals who commit to spending one night out on the streets while raising money that goes directly to getting kids off the streets, and ever since that ONE night I won’t stop trying to get the word out.
You can read about my first experience out on the streets of Los Angeles, here.
I didn’t understand. I grew up in NYC and was taught to not make eye-contact, never give anyone free money, and that a bum wanted to be on the streets or was probably there for a quick buck or addicted to drugs.
The common thread I learned that night at Covenant House was that nobody asked or deserved to be homeless. Instead, I realized it was easier to digest if they had ‘done something’ to be there because it made them less human, and didn’t affect me as much if there was a reason they were on the streets.
Almost 10 years ago I was almost homeless and about to be living out of my car with my dog before a friend stepped in and let me stay on her couch for a month while my financials got back in order.
I have never felt so shitty or like a huge whopping failure in my whole life. This podcast will hopefully work my way out of a job because I don’t want youth homelessness to be a thing. We’re all a few missed paychecks away from facing the same situation.
Let’s get to the root of the problem. Nobody deserves to be homeless. So join me as I put a face to these nonprofits working hard to provide free primary health care, legal assistance, education and job training programs for people who need help getting off the streets.
What if the kid who can cure cancer is out there now, sleeping on the streets, and just needs a little love and helping hand to put him back on track to saving the world.
Keep a lookout for Someone Like You podcast, nothing like it has been done so join me in changing the world one podcast at a time. I’ll be sure to update when the first few episodes are live!
Netflix has released a number of new Disney movies for the month of September and to celebrate I watched Hercules.
Hercules is the most underrated Disney movie ever didn’t smack me upside the head until Hercules meets Meg for the first time and tries to save his first D.I.D. – Damsel in Distress.
Meg is being held hostage by the River Monster and isn’t impressed by this stranger’s offer to help save her. She stay’s calm and cool while dismissing the need for any help and still manages to slip out a sarcastic response.
Cheers to Meg for emulating every woman in the history, ever. Ladies have been pretending to be okay for ions, despite looking down the belly of the beast. We always know how to keep our cool, solve the problem and keep the program moving.
THEN when Herc asks how she got mixed up with the likes of a River Monster, her answer was again SPOT on.
Some men are plain stupid.
I’m a big tough girl. I can tie my own sandals and everything.”
Can I also say how impressed I am that a story about a young man finding his place in this world depicting all his struggles was told by Disney, too? Can I get an amen?
It’s easy to forget that Disney stories are based off the Grimm Brother’s Tales with a happier spin. Disney copyrighted the “happy ending” and Hercules is a tale from Greek mythology, but it’s still important.
Just like many get upset that Disney told little girls to be saved by Princes, they did produce other sides.
Zero to Hero in a broad sense shows Hercules’ struggle to belong, and how a little determination and hard work can beat the odds with the help from those willing to go the distance for you.
Not everyone is a stepping stone in our careers, but the good ones are and that’s not a terrible message to tell kids. We hear millennials are nothing but dreamers and searching for their passions, but a large majority are working hard in an economy built against them … but I digress … anyways
Be a Jerk and Get Treated Like a Jerk
Nothing made me giggle more than when Phil gets smacked multiple times for being a womanizer or perv. As a kid you make the connection Phil wants love but is going about it in the wrong ways, so he get’s what is due to him. i.e. getting pushed into the water, multiple times.
Take Care Of Mom
Hercules loves his biological parents as well as his adoptive parents and makes a point to take care of Mom. After Hercules made his name as a Hero, he buys them a house next to the leaning tower of Pisa. How sweet is that? C’mon. So extra.
Meg Saves The Day
I think you might’ve missed what happened there at the end. If it weren’t for Meg, Hercules would’ve failed and never gotten to the pearly gates to make the choice to be with his family.
She dived to protect Herc and Hades’ curse was broken because he had promised she wouldn’t get hurt. Meg knew she could repair what she damaged by sacrificing herself. Talk about accountability!
What’s the old phrase? Behind every successful man is a strong woman? Meg is the original OG of Disney leading ladies. Get it, girl!
If there are any F.R.I.E.N.D.S fans reading, did you know Hercules is voiced by the guy Rachel was madly in love with at her personal styling gig? #TheMoreYouKnow
It’s Friday, so you know what time it is. Time for #SMHS – Sh*T My Husband Says!
There’s something special about being married and by special I mean hilarious. After a certain amount of time has passed you begin to get into the deep minutia of life and crazy metaphors, conversations, and ridiculousness get exchanged.
Here’s this week’s gem.
The Hubs has jokes and they’re always at 7a.m. in the damn morning.
Flawesome: an individual who embraces their ‘flaws’ and knows they are awesome regardless.
I wasn’t born to be perfect. I was born to be real.
This week prompt: imperfect
Our relationship is flawed because you refuse to listen.
How many more times must I express my feelings?
For I’ve clearly stated my boundaries
yet you still manage to bulldoze straight through them.
If my words and wishes don’t matter
Then why bother, it’s over
You’ll blame me for the ending when you speak about it with friends
because you’ll be able to identify when the atmosphere between us changed.
How come you can’t see your own misactions?
I’ll never fulfill that relationship you’re craving
You need to be needed in a way I can’t give
and I’m sick of repeating it to your deaf ears
For my lips tell truths you can’t handle
So let’s stop with the charades and call a spade a spade
It’s easy to confuse boundaries with control because most boundary-less people can’t fathom why there needs to be a line.
For a long time, I thought the only relationship I had to ever worry about was between me and my husband. Apparently, life forces you to deal with a multitude of relationships you don’t necessarily want or expected.
“You got my fire burning the last time we talked, and I wanted to make sure I said thank you.”
A few days ago I was talking to a girlfriend who has been going through a rough spot in her marriage and feeling suffocated in the pits of loneliness. Unfortunately we are in different time zones, otherwise it would call for a night of wine and pjs.
Our regular conversations have grown a bit sadder each time she answers the phone. Instead of having a rough day she has rough months and little fights or arguments last just as long.
I listen, offer advice if it’s appropriate and most importantly, reassure her she’s very capable of figuring it all out.
Two conversations ago I got the urge to drive home the idea she needed to focus on herself for a change and do something that was solely beneficial to her. She pressed back saying she wasn’t the same person I knew back in Virginia when both our husbands served, “not as strong or independent.”
Not wanting to push too hard but feeling obligated as a friend to push a little harder to give her some perspective, I did.
” You are that same person, she’s just buried underneath the surface and digging her out is going to be tougher but she’s still there,” I said. “Focus on something that makes only you happy. You’re allowed to do that for yourself.
I think it’s tough to focus on yourself as a woman, we have this overwhelming need to make sure our people are okay–husbands, children, etc. Sometimes we need permission or a consistent reminder it’s okay to do something solely beneficial for ourselves.
She’s also a stay-at-home Mom, and I think it’s safe to say she feels isolated but also terrible she doesn’t feel satisfied with being “just a Mom.”
This is important, and I try to remind my friend whenever I can. It doesn’t make you a bad Mom if you want to do other non-Mom things, same visa-versa. We’re all built different, your needs aren’t the same as Susie Susan’s and it’s okay.
Choose to be happy.
Today I got a phone call from the same friend, asking for help to promote her photography business online. I happily walked her through the steps and answered all of her questions, with a promise to help her whenever she needed.
“What you said finally made sense to me. I’ve been busy the last couple of days beefing up my yearly and monthly goals, thank you.”
She sounded happier, and I was ecstatic to hear it in her voice. It had been too long.
Sometime we just need a push. A little friendly reminder it’s okay to Do It For You.
I wrote this blog for work back in July after attending Orangewood Foundation’s Sex Trafficking Forum. The contents of that education still haunt me and I don’t want its lesson to be lost over time. It’s not old news because we haven’t found the solution.
We live in an imperfect world and bad people will always find a way to inflict harm on their victims, but this doesn’t mean we throw in the towel. We fight.
Please take the time to read the forum recap below and listen to Oree’s story. She led the forum discussion that night and I couldn’t begin to describe the amount of strength this woman holds. Orangewood Foundation asks to please help spread awareness to help end the growing pandemic of sex slavery, we can all do our part.
Last night the Marconi Staff attended Orangewood Foundation’s Forum on sex trafficking in Orange County. The moving dialog from a survivor stirred up a fiery determination to do more in each staff member’s stomach.
The Marconi Foundation for Kids did recently donate $3,000 to the Orangewood Foundation, but it’s not nearly enough and there’s plenty of work to be done; we want to do more! The number one goal Orangewood has in regards to its sex trafficking program is to bring more awareness to this sensitive issue.
With the need for awareness on the brain, here is a recap of what was learned and spoken about on Monday night’s gathering.
Disclaimer: This post will use potentially alarming vocabulary to promote awareness about sex trafficking. Viewer discretion is advised.
Sex Trafficking Statistics:
100,000 – 300,000 American children are victims of sex trafficking per year.
1 out of every 3 runaway girls in the U.S. is approached by a pimp within 48 hours of running away.
Almost 400 victims of sex trafficking in Orange County have been identified in the past 10 years and almost half of them were children.
In the past two years 1,277 victims have been identified in California.
50-80% of sex trafficking victims in California are or once were in the foster care system.
There were 145 victims in Orange County in 2014.
Q:What is sex trafficking?
A: The use of violence, threats, lies, debt bondage and other forms of coercion to compel adults and children to engage in commercial sex acts against their will. Also known as: sex slavery, human trafficking and Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children (CSEC).
Terminology:
“In the life”: involved in sex trafficking
“John/Trick”: child molester; the buyer
“Bottom bitch”: the pimp’s head girl
“Wifey”: the girls who work with you and your pimp
Q: Who are these girls?
A: These girls are the regular “run-of-the-mill” children. It can happen to anyone.
Victims are predominately young females who are insecure, questioning their self-esteem or looking for a way out of an abusive family.
Listen to Sex Trafficking Advocate and Survivor, Oree Freeman, tell her story in the video below.
In addition to Oree telling the forum’s crowd her story, she shared numerous survivor stories, or in her terms, her “survivor sisters” stories.
“My survivor sister grew up in South County and like most young girls in Southern California, dreamed of becoming a model and walking the runways for the fashion world’s most elite. But, early on her dreams were crushed when she didn’t have the support from her parents. Determined to make it in the industry, she got in contact with a reputable agent who continually booked her in successful events that advanced her career.
Until one day, the gigs stopped and she had no money to support herself and didn’t want to ask her parents for help after they had previously voiced disapproval regarding her career choice. The agent became her pimp, even though he spent time furthering her career, turning her over was always his end goal.”
Kinds of pimps:
This kind of pimp (in above story) is considered a CEO Pimp; the character who has all the opportunity to give out and uses it to lure in victims.
A Romeo Pimp will wine and dine you for however long it takes until sold into the ring.
Women pimps are referred to as Madams and have usually been former workers “in the life.”
Recruiting Spots:
Any area where a large group of children frequent, i.e: bus stops, malls, skating rinks, group homes and the Internet.
Oree told the crowd she once walked into a skating rink during the afternoon and saw her ex-pimp and “bottom bitch” scouting out the mobs of kids, looking for the weakest link.
Girls’ Expectations:
One pimp’s formula his women must make:
$600 to eat
$800 to sleep
Didn’t collect the money from the John, punishment was sleeping with the next man without a condom.
This math equates a need to make $208,000 a year and work 16 times a day for 5 days to achieve it. This means one woman experiences 4,160 rapes a year to be able to eat and sleep.
Other facts to keep in mind:
Orange County is a number one destination location for sex trafficking because of its high prospect to make money.
Sex trafficking is almost as lucrative as drug hustling because gangs are becoming more interested in selling kids than selling drugs, it’s “safer.”
Recent reports have shown pimps come from violent upbringings and/or have experienced sexual assault while growing up.
Sex trafficking victims often get mislabeled as prostitutes.
The Good News:
The Orangewood Foundation has been working for nearly 35 years to care for abused and at-risk youth. The foundation has numerous programs to aid children in need.
First responders are being taught how to recognize a sex trafficking victim and what questions to ask.
The creation of a new program called The Lighthouse Program, by the Orangewood Foundation.
The Lighthouse Program is transitional housing for young women who have left “the life.” It’s a house with 24/7 care for women aged 18-21 (minors are generally placed in foster care) that will help a survivor recuperate and plan for their future, and stay as long as needed to become successful.
This program will work in tandem with other Orangewood programs which offer help with basic needs, independent living skills, employment and education.
As the first kind of home/program in the Orange County and L.A. area, the foundation needs our support. Below is a list detailing how YOU can support The Lighthouse.
If you are interested in attending a forum, the meetings happen every second Monday of every month from 6:30-8:00pm. Plan to be a part of the discussion on August 8th and September 12th at 1575 E. 17th St., Santa Ana.
Awareness is the first step in stopping the problem.
RamblinRandol 